Chapter 88
“Yummy!”
The World Tree picked up a macaron.
Then it stuffed macarons into both cheeks, one after another, like a squirrel.
The insanely sweet shell and the cushiony cream between them made for the perfect combination.
Unlike the World Tree’s current form, which remembered only the outlines of flavor, the dessert tasted in its true form was sublime.
“Mmm.”
No sooner did one disappear than another went in.
It had already been sitting in the center of the World Tree for several hours.
The first macarons it had tasted since manifesting were impossible to stop eating.
The World Tree picked up a pink macaron and stared at it.
From its adorable size to its soft, puffy appearance.
“Did the Head Mod make this? This is the cutest thing in the world...”
It was a perfect dessert for the eyes as well.
The World Tree was a godlike being worshiped by the elves.
In elven books, the World Tree had always been regarded as a benevolent and immense presence.
In reality, the World Tree had spent ages trying to understand the cultures of living things.
“This century’s way of speaking is fascinating. I think I’m getting addicted to it the more I use it.”
The problem was that this was the Gallery century.
Having become addicted to Gallery lingo, the World Tree had started using the speech of the real Gallery.
It was just as the World Tree reached for another macaron.
-Scurry scurry
“Huh.”
It heard something scurrying past outside, beyond the branches.
The World Tree stopped reaching for the macaron and poked its head out past the branches.
But there was nothing to be seen.
“That’s strange. I’m sure there was something there.”
It was certain it had seen something twitch at the far end...
The World Tree decided it must have been mistaken and was just about to turn back!
“Shh.”
“Eek.”
A black, masked figure of some sort.
Having infiltrated the World Tree’s interior, it stuffed the entire World Tree into a sack.
The World Tree was kidnapped before it even had a chance to resist.
*
Life is all about timing.
What I mean is, once you’re certain, you have to know how to invest boldly.
“Hmm.”
The first time Vampire to the Bitter End moved away from me.
I didn’t miss that instant and put my plan to escape the abandoned castle into action.
It had already been five minutes since I left the room and started running blindly toward the long corridor.
I finally reached what appeared to be the abandoned castle’s main entrance.
“The Head Mod is free.”
The moment I flung open the door with a burst of spirit!
-Fwoomp
Something entered my arms.
No, it would be more accurate to say that something had trapped me in its embrace.
“Where did you go?”
Vampire to the Bitter End raised her head and stared at me.
Although smaller than me, she lifted me as effortlessly as a feather.
“Come on, let’s go lie back down.”
“Sob.”
Erzebet carried me princess-style and tossed me onto the bed.
I was forced to dive back onto the bed, bringing me right back to where I’d started.
My first escape attempt had failed.
“I lost Gallery time while escaping.”
On top of that, Vampire to the Bitter End’s security became even tighter.
The unwavering gaze fixed on me conveyed her determination never to let her blood pack escape.
In the end, I gave up and went straight to the featured posts.
If the countless posts uploaded to the Gallery were reading material, the featured posts were required reading.
I was about to start browsing the featured posts without missing a thing when I noticed a strange one.
[Title: We Kidnapped the World Tree!]
“What is this?”
The title was far too weak to be clickbait.
It wasn’t the kind of bait that could claim a featured spot.
Wondering how it had made the featured posts, I found that the secret behind the flood of recommendations was simple.
[Featured Post: We Kidnapped the World Tree!]
Author: DarknessLover
(Picture of a green-haired girl trapped)
Head Mod, come to the negotiating table right now
Otherwise, you’ll never see the World Tree again!
[Recommendations5231] [Dislikes4121]
- 1 point
- Phew, no one in the Gallery actually believes this, right? lol
- Even in the Gallery’s early days, we never posted bait this pathetic, you DarknessLover gallery rat...
ㄴ DarknessLover) Call me by my proper name!
Of course, no one believed it.
At least, not until the World Tree’s IP address, 137.7.32, appeared in the comments.
- 137.7.32) (The World Tree recommended this post!)
ㄴ What, the subject showed up
ㄴ Is that really you?
ㄴ Do we look like we’re mistaking our World Tree for some neighborhood kid? lol
ㄴ You think our World Tree could’ve been kidnapped by some low-level baiter like that? lol
But the elves alone laughed at the author and ignored the post.
Who was the World Tree?
A living history book and the major mana shareholder supplying mana to all the elves.
In other words, it wasn’t someone a handful of people could kidnap just by plotting together.
- 137.7.32) (I pressed recommend because it’s really me emote)
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Huh
ㄴ (What the hell is going on??? Elf emote)
The problem was that it was real.
Before long, a new featured post from the same author appeared.
[Featured Post: I’ll Prove I’m the World Tree!]
Author: DarknessLover
(Picture of the kidnapper asking the green-haired girl for a favor)
(Picture of the green-haired girl using magic and covering the room in plants)
We aren’t joking!
Head Mod, come to the negotiating table right now!
You don’t want to see the World Tree ever again, do you!
- Wait, wow, it’s actually real
- How the hell did they kidnap it? lol
- Then what happened to the World Tree in Elad?
“What, it really was true?”
How did they kidnap it?
With the World Tree’s proof, the reactions of the Gallery users gathered in the featured post erupted.
- (Elf porcelain figurine clutching its head emote)
- Where do you live?
- Eeeek, World Tree!!!
- Emergency! Emergency! Super emergency!!!
The elves, who were all about the World Tree, were especially thrown into absolute panic.
The World Tree had been kidnapped.
To exaggerate a little, the fate of an entire race was on the line—it was the worst possible situation.
- W-we need to find the World Tree immediately!
- Spread out and report by region!!
- We’ll go rescue you right now!!!
Naturally, the elves flew into a rage and asked the Gallery for help...
- ? Why should I?
- lol, this is kind of funny
- The featured post was a good one. Dopamine replenished, nice~
- (Who cares? Dwarf emote)
They were naturally ignored.
No, rather, an atmosphere even formed where people were quietly celebrating the kidnapping of the World Tree.
- 137.7.32, listen to your kidnappers and stay healthy over there~
ㄴ 137.7.32) (Thanksies, World Tree emote)
- You’ve been liberated, congrats
- So you’re living in a house without pests now?
- Fuck, I’m insanely jealous; I want to move too
- I don’t have a housewarming gift, but congratulations anyway.
ㄴ 137.7.32) (Cat giving a thumbs-up through tears emote)
The World Tree had spent its entire life suffering in the elves’ lair for literally centuries.
Unlike the Gallery’s usual pursuit of provocative things, a genuinely celebratory atmosphere had formed.
- W-where’s the justice in this?!
- W-World Tree? You’re not abandoning us, are you?
ㄴ 137.7.32) (Picture of a new sacred tree)
ㄴ 137.7.32) (Woohoo~! emote)
The only ones left confused and flustered were the elves.
- DarknessLover) This isn’t how it was supposed to go
ㄴ DarknessLover) Do you not want to see the World Tree ever again? Come negotiate already!
ㄴ ? The World Tree?
ㄴ DarknessLover) I-I mean, cooperate!
No, there was one more group.
The kidnappers.
“You should’ve picked a better place to make threats.”
Why would they kidnap a World Tree that had evolved into a bright-eyed lunatic and then try to blackmail it?
They had picked the wrong opponent by a mile.
“Do they think I’ve never dealt with trolls before?”
I’d never seen the username DarknessLover before.
They seemed to be new to the Gallery, and apparently they hadn’t been able to process the Gallery’s proper spicy flavor yet.
“But I should stop teasing them here.”
If I pushed it further, there was a risk this newbie would leave the Gallery.
I set the jokes aside and tried to talk to the kidnappers.
- Head Mod*) So what do you want?
“Are they asking for guns or something?”
Blackmailers who tried to threaten me all followed similar patterns.
They either aimed to seize control of the Gallery through me or demanded that I supply them with modern weapons.
Naturally, I assumed these kidnappers wanted the same thing.
- DarknessLover) Give us triangle-shaped rice!
- DarknessLover) We’ll give you until before dinner today!
But the kidnappers’ demands were different from what I’d expected.
“Triangle-shaped rice?”
Are they talking about triangle kimbap?
*
I once miscounted the quantity of triangle kimbap I was buying.
I’d meant to buy only ten, but I accidentally added a zero and ordered one hundred.
So I put the remaining ninety up on the marketplace, and they sold out without a peep.
“There wasn’t much reaction from the Gallery back then, either.”
But no one in the Gallery posted a review of the triangle kimbap.
So I’d naturally forgotten about it; the people who bought it must have been these kidnappers.
- DarknessLover) Give us triangle-shaped rice!
“They want some, so why not?”
They’d kidnapped the World Tree, and all they wanted was triangle kimbap.
I roughly ordered ten and had them delivered.
- Head Mod*) Okay.
ㄴ DarknessLover) ...Seriously?
The chat window’s sudden shrinking was striking, considering how boldly they’d demanded that I hand it over.
[10 Triangle Kimbap have been delivered!]
Once I had the triangle kimbap delivered, there was a brief silence before a new reply appeared from the kidnapper.
- DarknessLover) Th-thanks!
The kidnappers seemed skilled, yet were strangely clumsy and unfamiliar with the Gallery.
“I feel like I know who they are...”
From their username to the pointed ears that had flashed in the image.
While I was trying to guess their identity, the sub-mod, Full-HP Elf, sent a message as if they had figured it out.
Full-HP Elf: Ah, I know who they are.
Head Mod*: Oh, really?
Full-HP Elf: They’re dark elves.
“Dark elves?”
If they were dark elves, weren’t they the race the elves had expelled in the past?
I’d only vaguely heard of them, and they’d never appeared before, so this came as a surprise.
Only minutes later, apparently after they’d finished eating the triangle kimbap, a new reply appeared.
- Head Mod*) How does it taste?
ㄴ DarknessLover) I-it was delicious. The best taste ever!
ㄴ DarknessLover) Anyway! To think I fell for such an obvious demand... What a stupid Head Mod you are!
“What.”
DarknessLover, whom I’d thought was merely awkward, suddenly showed their true colors—the presumed dark elf.
- DarknessLover) We have no intention of returning the World Tree!
- DarknessLover) We’ll grow a new sacred tree in our own land!
They intended to abandon Elad, the elves’ homeland, and grow a sacred tree in their own land.
DarknessLover had dropped a colossal bombshell into the Gallery.