After packing the items into my bag and wandering around the area for hours,
as expected, this space was absurdly vast.
By definition, the Backrooms are six hundred million square miles in size.
Even just the number made it obvious you couldn't possibly explore the whole thing.
They say one of the three things Chinese people can't do is tour all of mainland China, so there's no need to even mention this place.
It had looked insanely cool when I just checked the setup on the wiki.
“Now I get why they say stuff like amta, TS, NTR, and menhera is fun when it's not their problem….”
A comedy from afar, a tragedy up close.
If possible, I would have preferred comedy.
After walking for hours while staring at the same scenery, I felt like I was going to develop a mental illness even though I didn't have one.
They say the reason psychiatric isolation rooms are white is to reduce visual stimulation.
Would it have been better if everything here were white too?
Probably not.
“Maybe I should check the terminal.”
I sat down with my back against a nearby wall.
If this were the Backrooms as a liminal space, I would've laid out a sleeping bag and gone to sleep.
But doing that in a situation I couldn't be sure about would be suicidal, so I couldn't bring myself to lie down.
On my phone screen were an out-of-service-area indicator and a data-in-use icon.
Can those even be on the same screen?
“And of course, calls don't work.”
112,119,113….
No matter where I tried to call, all I got was a nasty electronic tone.
I thought about trying somewhere else too, but there was no way the brand-new phone I got today would already have numbers saved in it.
I didn't know a single number.
The data supposedly worked, but apps like NewTube and the internet app were dead too.
All that was left was one app labeled 'Bureau Gallery.'
'One last tip for you all: the Bureau's anonymous board is available as a default app on your phone.'
What Manager Kwak Chunbong had said at the end of orientation.
So this must be it.
If even this doesn't open, am I really going to be isolated here all by myself?
But if, just if, it does work….
It should help me get through a week in this place to some extent.
Of course, I couldn't deny that part of me also wanted to get back to shitposting on the gallery, something I thought I'd never be able to do again.
Would 'I want to die, but I want truffle-caviar mala xiangguo' feel like this?
“They said the pre-censorship was strict, but if it works, that's all that matters.”
Filled with anticipation, I tapped the app icon with my finger.
“Ahh….”
A damn familiar UI greeted me.
[Notice] Bureau Gallery Unified Notice ver.0.3
They cut the bonus again, you bitches [12]
Today's managed entity is crazy? [6]
Got strung along by the operator [74]
Bureau bro, today~ mamma-n~!! [9]
The gallery was, contrary to my expectations, very active.
The view count and comment count were pretty high too, with a post going up every few minutes.
It was proof that, whatever the Bureau's total headcount was, a significant number of them were on the gallery.
“If you've come to the gallery, you should read the notice first.”
[Title: Got strung along by the operator]
Author: 으아들이대
There was a new hire who joined three months ago,
and during live briefings, they had such a friendly voice that anyone would think they liked me.
So I confessed today, and they said they'd never thought of me as anything more than a coworker.
Fine, I said, and went out on site, only for Park Geum-ja to replace them as the operator, fuck….
I don't get why they were flirting with me if they weren't even going to say yes.
[Comments]
개체박이 : This bastard only posts once every few months and still manages to go off the rails, lol.
ㄴ 으아들이대 : If you heard them too, you'd have felt the sincerity in the voice.
ㄴ 개체박이 : Quit bullshitting. If the chromosomes are different, you're all over them anyway, lol. Why don't you confess to Park Geum-ja?
ㄴ 으아들이대 : I already got rejected….
ㄴ 갇혔어요집에 : This is why it made the hot posts, lol.
ㄴ 사냥개 : Heartbreak upvote ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Honestly, how are you supposed to put up with that.
And you're not supposed to start with the notice in the gallery.
You only read the notice when you need an excuse to jab at someone you don't like, or when you're going to complain to the staff.
I kept checking my surroundings as I read through the posts.
The topics of the posts being uploaded were varied.
They ranged from simple daily-life stories, and posts about work were basically the default.
Along with boss-rants, parental-insult rants, and bait images….
It was so free that you couldn't tell at all that pre-censorship was being enforced.
“If this is censorship, then what the hell are they even censoring?”
Was there someone periodically posting the Bureau's secrets or something?
After a few minutes of thinking, I couldn't hold back my curiosity and hit the write button.
[Title: Lewd pic, deleting in 1 minute]
Author: 관붕이(225.xxx)
I just got hired today and was deployed to the field, so any tips?
Looks like this is the Backrooms and I have to survive for a week.
[Comments]
자동저장은 필수 : This newbie's title-baiting, fuck, lol.
고아분쇄기 : Newbie?
아빠는무림인 : If you just got here, read the notice and change your nickname.
사냥개 : This is a bit. What department sends someone out on the field on their first day?
돈받고갤질하기 : Judging by what you're doing, you must've been a forum goblin in real life too. Your first post and you're already on another level.
Thanks to the power of title-baiting, comments started pouring in one after another.
My phone started vibrating nonstop.
If I could get this much attention in real life, I might've even had a shot at the gallery-celebrity spot.
[Title: Verification]
Author: 관붕이(225.xxx)
[A photo of a backpack with the Backrooms as the background]
No lie, I'm in here.
What's in the bag is basically supplies and a flashlight.
I'm being so careful because I'm scared something might pop out, so hurry up and give me some tips, hehe.
[Comments]
갇혔어요집에 : What the hell, it's real.
개체박이 : ????? Why is a newbie charging into the Backrooms?
ㄴ(글쓴이) 관붕이(225.xxx) : If I knew that, do you think I'd be asking here?
ㄴ 으아들이대 : For real….
People seemed stunned once they realized my post wasn't a lie.
Then, while similar comments kept rolling in.
관리를관리 : Final warning. Read the notice and change your nickname.
A comment with an orange tag attached to the front of the nickname.
That tag means one thing.
It meant the person who posted that comment was the gallery's moderator, the head mod.
ㄴ(글쓴이) 관붕이(225.xxx) : ㅇㅋㅇㅋㅇㅋ
I indicated my agreement and clicked the notice.
Reading the notice is a matter of principle for me, but getting banned because I got on their bad side would be worse, so bending my principles was easier.
[Notice] Bureau Gallery Unified Notice ver.0.3
Author : 관리를관리
1. What is the Bureau Gallery?
As the channel name suggests, it's a place for talking about things related to the Bureau.
Usually that subject is the main focus, but casual conversation is also allowed. However, if things get too heated, we'll start clamping down, so please cooperate then.
2.Nickname change required
Since the gallery is limited in terms of who can come in, unlike other galleries we allow a certain amount of socializing.
Please create a nickname that can represent you.
You can only set your nickname once, so please decide carefully.
3.Socializing guidelines
Mentioning nicknames that are seen often and interact frequently is fine, but we prohibit discussions that identify each other's personal details.
We know real-life socializing isn't possible, but even so, please refrain from exchanging information about each other's identities. If you're caught, it's an instant permanent ban.
4. Blocking guidelines
Aside from not setting a nickname and socializing, all blocking criteria are based solely on my mood. If you don't like it, go somewhere else.
5. I'm stationed in the gallery 24 hours a day and checking posts, so please don't try to look for me separately.
6. Please check the above and enjoy your time on the gallery.
“This iron-fisted rule is insane….”
Only that kind of iron-fisted rule could control people who deal with all sorts of things.
I changed my nickname according to the notice.
And in the meantime, the gallery was already spinning my story into bait.
How long has it been since we got a newbie? [17]
On-duty Bureau bro, today~ mamma-n~!! [3]
How the hell did the first work site end up being the Backrooms? [22]
Why the newbie isn't worried at all.EU [15]
I'll give you Backrooms tips.TIP [31]
Except for one, they're all posts I'd want to click on.
But first, if I didn't want to get blocked, nickname verification came first.
[Take this recruit]
Author : 갤질참쉽죠
[A photo of a grand bow while leaning against a wall]
I'll be in your care from now on, please help me.
[Comments]
자동저장은 필수 : ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
사냥개 : ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
돈받고갤질하기 : Can't do anything about a grand bow.
고아분쇄기 : Okay, I'll take off the scope.
Leaving behind the warm reactions from the grand bow, I checked the most eye-catching of the posts I'd put off.
[Giving Backrooms tips.TIP]
Author : 갇혔어요집에
There are two kinds of Backrooms.
The first is the original, meaning a place that's just insanely vast.
In cases like this, getting in basically means you can't get out.
But if you listen to the newbie, it seems there is a way to get out.
So if you get stuck here, just eat three meals a day and shitpost on the gallery until you can leave.
The second kind is the problem, where wiki influence has turned it into levels, depths, and entities and the like.
If it turns out you're in the second kind, obediently shove whatever's in the pill packet in your bag into your mouth and take a nap.
[Comments]
개체박이 : I feel like there's not a single wrong thing in there, so here's an upvote lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
지박령1호 : That's right.
갤질참쉽죠 : What's in the pill packet, you're saying eat it and sleep?
ㄴ (글쓴이) 갇혔어요집에 : Euthanasia pills. They hand them out before you go on site. You can die painlessly.
ㄴ갤질참쉽죠 : No, fuck, that's an instant suicide flag.
ㄴ 사냥개 : How are you supposed to take down an entity all by yourself?
A 50% survival rate right from the very first filter.
That's basically the odds of winning the lottery.
[So how do you tell the two kinds of Backrooms apart?]
Author: 갤질참쉽죠
[Backrooms background photo]
No matter how I looked around, I couldn't tell
I kept turning my eyes this way and that, but all I could see was a featureless yellow landscape.
“Huh?”
When I looked back at the gallery with no results, my last post was already flooded with comments.
[Comments]
돈받고갤질하기 : You crazy bastard, get up and run already.
갇혔어요집에 : Holy shit, a newbie who showed up for the first time in years is going to die.
ㄴ 고아분쇄기 : If he dies it's your fault, if he dies it's your fault, if he dies it's your fault, if he dies it's your fault.
ㄴ 갇혔어요집에 : Don't talk shit, he must already be running.
아빠는무림인 : You're running, right?
All of a sudden, people started posting desperate comments telling me to run.
Even after I jumped in alarm and looked around, there was nothing but the yellow landscape.
[What? Why?]
Author: 갤질참쉽죠
There's nothing here, so why is everyone making such a fuss?
Could they be messing with me because I'd title-baited earlier?
[Comments]
갇혔어요집에 : Look at the picture you uploaded earlier, you crazy bastard. Doesn't that make it obvious why we'd say that?
고아분쇄기 : Don't stand there like an idiot checking it—run back the way you came, now!!!!
“Aaaahhh!”
I ran back the way I came at full speed without even looking behind me.
It was too urgent to call it a joke, because even now my phone was still sending notifications while I was running.
If it really was a prank, I could get angry then.
No, please let it have been a prank.
“Hah… Hah… Hah…!”
How far had I run?
I had no strength left to keep moving, so I sank down.
With oxygen in short supply, my gasping breaths had a sickly sweet smell.
My body was soaked in cold sweat and felt gross.
I pulled a bottle of water out of my bag and drained it in one go.
“Ha….”
As I felt my breathing return and my body start to steady, I looked around.
The yellow scenery was no different from when I first saw it.
I checked the gallery again.
Newbie dead?[25]
Why did that show up there?[56]
Someone please bring this up with HR [22]
갤질참쉽죠님, please write a post when you have time [1]
The board was already tossing my story around as bait.
[Why did that show up there?]
Author: 개체박이
[A photo of a black shape floating far away in the Backrooms background, grinning into empty air]
That guy in the newbie's photo is a Smiler
Shouldn't this bastard not even be showing up because he's weak to light?
What the hell got popular again while I wasn't looking?
[Comments]
갇혔어요집에 : I haven't even seen him show up in a background like that before either.
고아분쇄기 : Considering how calm the newbie was, I guess he couldn't see it.
자동저장은 필수 : Damn it, these bratty kids really love lore-wanking.
“What is this.”
The photo I had hastily snapped and uploaded while writing the post.
In the photo that should have only shown the yellow scenery, something else had been captured.
A black face that usually appears in dark places.
A popular Backrooms monster with glowing eyes and sharp teeth.
“Smiler….”
A popular entity from creative works set against the Backrooms background was smiling brightly in the photo.