Chapter 29
[Today's Gwanbbi grub~!!!!!!]
Author: ShitpostingIsEasy
Hi, baby Gwanbbies~ It's been a while~~~
For the Gwanbbies who thought I'd died and worried about me, today's newbie has come to visit~~~~~
I have a lot I want to say to the Gwanbbies I've seen after so long~, but there may be Gwanbbies waiting for an update, so I'm sorryyyyy~
Then without further ado, shall we get to today's fresh report????
Thanks for closing the forum, I lived because of it
I was going to leave a message on the board as soon as I left the village
[Photo of both arms totally wrecked]
[Photo of an unharmed right arm]
I was late because I had to fix my arm. That cover gel stuff was pretty good.
So you guys were the only ones using this good stuff?
The elder spared me on the condition that I come once more before the year ends. If I don't go, do I really die?
And what's with an entity barging into the forum? Like a dick barging into a yuri scene?
From what I've heard, the human-rights-waiver admissions track only exists in the Seoul area, and other places don't put newbies through this much.
Then why are you defaulting to the Seoul-area method?
I've got a lot of questions, but I need to go report that I'm alive at the office for now, so I'm off.
Then this Gwanbbi will be going, so enjoy your tasty shitposting♡♡♡♡
Then I'll be off☆
[Comments]
OrphanCrusher : Suddenly I feel like living up to my name
HuntingDog : Goddamn, your concept is brutal
AutoSaveIsMandatory : What was the elder thinking, sending someone like that?
ㄴEntityFucker : That's why they sent him, thinking he was a lunatic
TrappedAtHome : I was about to cuss him out for not shitposting for four hours, but I saw his arm and held back, fuck
WhiteHacker : All that bullshit I went through to save this bastard, lmaoㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
The reaction's good.
Although the joke overshadowed it and there were no comments answering the question below, related posts would likely go up as time passed.
When I entered the Bureau building, a familiar face greeted me.
"Oh my~ Welcome."
"I'm Park Seongbin of the Field Response Team. I have returned after completing my entity-management business trip."
"Safely... no, but you made it back okay."
Clunk.
"Park Seongbin of the Field Response Team. Reporting a safe return."
With that greeting, I went into the office.
What I saw in the office was….
"How! How could this happen!?"
Team Leader Im Mina, crying with such force it was as if a faucet had been turned on in her eyes.
"I can't believe it."
And Senior Choi Yu-na, holding a terminal that was being crushed to pieces with crack-crack sounds from how much force she was using.
What happened? What is it? Don't tell me the Bureau is done for?
"Um...."
"Park Seongbin!?"
"Junior?"
They'd been so focused they hadn't even heard my greeting, and when I made my presence known again, the two of them turned to look at me at terrifying speed.
By the way, the other team members still hadn't come yet?
"Yep. Thanks to Senior Kang Chaeyoung, I was able to return safely...."
Smack!
"Hngh!"
A pain like I'd been whipped shot through my back.
Before I knew it, the team leader had come up behind me and delivered a solid smash to my back. Why?
"That's so mean, Seongbin-ssiiii! How could you do thatooo!"
"Huh? Huh? What do you meeean!?"
"So mean. Really mean."
Choi Yu-na also came up on the other side of the team leader and started stretching my cheeks out like pizza cheese.
"Could you tell me what happened before hitting me?"
"You killed it."
"Huh?"
Instead of answering, Choi Yu-na tapped her terminal a few times and showed me a certain web novel. The post at the very top was….
[I'm the author…….]
"Ah."
"Look at this toooo!"
Before I'd even finished sorting out my thoughts, Team Leader Im Mina thrust her terminal out from the other side.
[Is It Wrong to Pursue Belly Dancing in the Dungeon? - Serialization Delayed]
[The Bureau's Special-Class Entity Shitposting on the Board -New]
"Um...."
Suddenly, memories began spilling over in my head.
“Then how about delaying the release date without notice, and at the same time publishing a brand-new work?”
“Sigh…. Just what on earth are you growing in that head of yours? Even Lord Yama wouldn’t think to do that.”
"I did say something that could have slighted the works you all read, but the chance that it just happened to apply to the very work you're reading is...."
"I'm on my way back after getting confirmation from the intel team."
"My God, the Bureau."
Why the hell aren't those bastards just managing the Backrooms like they should be, instead of investigating crap like this?
"It's a misunderstanding."
"A misunderstanding?"
Choi Yu-na tilted her head.
"That's right. Originally, it would've been even worse than this."
"At the point where it's hard to put the book down, you send readers reeling with a development that's the exact opposite of the opening setup, then excuse it as the best thing for the work. And then you keep delaying the next volume's release date until you end up with a strong-start, weak-finish ending and ditch your pen name."
I explained, verbatim, what the head mod had first proposed to the Dokkaebi.
Apparently it hadn't been passed along; both pairs of eyes went round.
There was no way a work like that existed in this world.
"If the original proposal had been delivered as is, both of your novels might have gone wrong beyond just being delayed."
If it hadn't been that level, I would've had to wage a life-or-death, sweat-soaked showdown with a middle-aged man whose chest hair grew in thick and full.
"Please think of it as a measure to make me come back in one piece, and take that into account."
First I had to save my life, didn't I....
Even if my life wasn't in danger, what if something about me was off when I met the elder?
Not easy.
"If only."
"Senior?"
"If the original draft had been accepted, maybe the novels we read wouldn't have been the target."
Was that so? No. That couldn't be. We can't let this slide.
"Senior, in an if, anything you can imagine can happen. If you say that, what am I supposed to say...."
"Park Seongbin."
"Yes."
The team leader crossed her arms and looked at me.
Not her usual hazy eyes, but a resolute gaze.
And those crossed arms were propping up that chest....
When I averted my eyes, on the other side was Senior Choi Yu-na looking up at me.
"You'll have to take responsibility for the crime of destroying our joy, right?"
"What happens if I say no?"
"Curious?"
"No."
Dokkaebi, you... if we meet again—no, let's just never meet again.
***
"I cried in the place where your fractured afterimage remained, and left my weary heart there for a while~♬."
And so I arrived at a coin karaoke room, dragged there by the two of them.
The two of them had a simple request.
Since their source of joy was gone, I was to hang out with them after work.
They said one day would be enough considering my condition, but I couldn't bring myself to say that if we were thinking about my condition, shouldn't it be next time?
"I laid it over the beat, hiding your name one by one behind the lyrics, and only I read them~♬."
"You're good~! Yu-na~."
Beneath Choi Yu-na's passionate singing—the one who had said her routine was karaoke—the team leader and I were enthusiastically supporting her with tambourines.
Watching her sing, she seemed like a completely different person.
The fact that she'd come out in a white dress instead of her usual suit also helped.
What was this called again, gap moe? Anyway, something like that.
Since it was an outing for the team leader too, she had clearly put some thought into her outfit.
Didn't they say no woman looks bad in jeans and a white T-shirt?
I don't know why she chose a tight-fitting T-shirt, but it was a fresh new look anyway.
"Phew...."
"Here's some water."
"Thanks."
After finishing her passionate performance, Senior Choi returned to her seat and sat beside me.
"Aren't you going to sing?"
"I don't really know many songs."
"So there are some, then?"
"Ohhh. That's murder for the tone-deaf...."
"I do have some, but not to the level of performing them for other people."
"Aren't we close?"
"If by that you mean family, then yes."
These days it's the kind of era where people don't even greet each other even if they're in the same apartment, same building, same floor.
After a brief moment of thought, Senior Choi said something I never could have imagined.
"But you're my husband, junior."
"Husband? You two are dating?"
"The process was skipped, and no, not even the result is true."
The team leader, unable to hide her shock at the sudden bombshell.
If a low-ranking employee said he married someone in the department less than a month after joining, I'd be surprised too.
"I only introduced us that way so I could enter the hospital as a guardian."
Then by that logic, if as kids we said, 'Let's have 00 marry 00,' does that make everyone engaged?
Of course, I don't actually have any such experience to begin with.
As I desperately came up with a few more excuses, the team leader smiled her usual dazed smile.
"I know, though?"
"Huh?"
"I'm the head of the Field Response Team. Did you think I wouldn't know what happened on the trip? I know everything."
"Then why...."
Snatch.
Without explaining why, the team leader simply smiled silently and placed the microphone in my hand.
"I know how to call someone 'honey' too. Do we really need to go that far?"
An irresistible pressure. Pressure on the level of 0.17 elder filled the room.
In the end, I had to yield to it and sing with tears in my eyes.
"I want to hold your hand once~! But that's a world I can't go to~."
"The emotion is really in there!"
"You sound like someone who really got dumped."
After that, we ate, went to a café, and got home before midnight without incident.
After being ordered to take a week-long rest—though it was hard to tell whether that was long or short—the day came to an end.
And three days later.
"Leave the Field Response Team and come over to my direct management team."
What kind of bullshit is this now?