At My Wits' End with the Useless Lot

In the dark forest, where tall trees stood in rows, an enormous yellow piece of heavy machinery spewed black smoke as it rolled logs aside and dug up tree roots.

The vibration rattling through the seat, the deft handling of the levers...

"I'm quite the veteran now. If I went back to my original world, I might get a perfect score on the practical portion of my license test."

But it was all self-taught. Apparently, people who grew up on farms and drove heavy machinery developed odd habits that gave them away at once.

From outside, I could hear voices like these: "Whoa!" "Amazing!" "It would take dozens of people half a day to dig something like this out!"

Even if there were several hundred laborers, would this job have been finished on time without Ko○tsu-san?

What would happen if the construction fell behind schedule? I asked the viscountess about that.

Naturally, the viscount's reputation would be damaged and he would have a hard time showing his face in the capital, but apparently his budget could also be cut, or his territory could even be confiscated if his ability to govern was called into question.

If that happened, the territory would either be absorbed by another domain or another noble would come to govern it.

Viscount Eupatorium would be reduced to one of countless nobles with no official post. Noble territories were inherited from generation to generation, so there were few openings.

Whenever I heard about the viscount being suddenly summoned to the capital――perhaps someone was deliberately creating an opening so they could seize the viscount's territory.

I see. It certainly was a crisis for the viscount, but even so――I couldn't help feeling that he lacked a sense of urgency.

Once I had Ko○tsu-san dig up the roots of the large trees, it was time to use my Item Box.

I put the roots into my Item Box and brought them out in a distant location. It required neither strength nor labor.

I simply left the felled trees lying where they fell. We would have to build a road before wagons could be brought in to transport them, and even hauling them a hundred kilometers from here wouldn't be profitable.

If I cut them into ten-meter lengths, they would fit inside my Item Box, but... no one had asked me to transport them, so I kept quiet.

Otherwise, I'd only be giving myself more work.

"So this is the Item Box?" "It's incredibly convenient." "But I've heard that hardly anyone possesses one."

Listening to the laborers whisper among themselves, I climbed back into the heavy machinery and resumed the steady work of digging the canal.

Then, this time, there was an enormous boulder in the path of the canal.

I tried a few things, but apparently I couldn't put it into my Item Box as it was. It seemed to be recognized as part of the earth.

I could break it up with the hydraulic breaker, but considering the trouble of changing attachments――it seemed easier to dig around it and separate it from the soil.

Its top was sticking out of the earth, but most of it seemed to be buried underground. I just had to dig beneath the main body of the boulder and roll it over.

Ko○tsu-san could dig about nine meters below ground, so this should be easy.

――That said, if a gigantic mass more than nine meters deep was hidden there, like an iceberg floating in the sea, we'd be out of luck.

But after digging about four meters, I could see the bottom of the boulder. I dug even farther beneath it.

"Hey! Can you push it from that side?"

"Got it!"

When several dozen laborers gathered, they inserted logs beneath the enormous boulder and began moving it using leverage.

I also hooked the teeth of the heavy machine's bucket onto the boulder and gave them a little assistance.

After a long struggle, the moss-covered boulder was torn from the earth and fell into the hole Ko○tsu-san had dug.

"These iron claws are incredible!" "How deep can it dig?" "If it were us, we'd have had no choice but to go around it!"

Ah, right. We could have gone around it.

But I had to keep the canal straight, or the flow of water would erode it and make its meandering even worse.

If the boulder had been too large to dig out, we would have had to shave away the top of it.

Still, where had such an enormous boulder come from? Had it rolled down from the cliff?

It was covered in so much moss that it must have been buried there for quite some time...

I put the boulder into my Item Box and rolled it away from the canal.

"Whoa!"

Every time I used my Item Box, the laborers were impressed, but――well, they were probably only making a fuss because it was novel at first.

I could have put the boulders directly into the trash without bringing them outside, but I was keeping the existence of that function secret from even my family.

When I was about to climb into Ko○tsu-san again, the viscountess arrived with the site supervisor.

She was still wearing the navy-blue dress I had given her. A dress must have been too restrictive for working.

From listening to the two of them, it seemed they were short on axes. They had tried to buy some from a merchant, but apparently he had charged them an outrageous price.

Naturally, they would be taken advantage of if they tried to buy them in a panic. Reluctantly, I gave them ten more axes and about ten whetstones.

After that, we steadily dug up the leaf mold in the forest and advanced about two hundred meters into it.

At two hundred meters a day, five kilometers would take twenty-five days――we might just manage it. If there were no more boulders like today's, we could probably dig more than two hundred meters a day.

It was growing dark, so we returned to base camp.

The soup was already ready at the house. Apparently, during breaks in their work, the swift-footed beastfolk had brought back game to use as ingredients for the soup.

"Did everyone butcher the animals too?"

"Yeah. Since we're not selling them as materials, we can manage it. All we have to do is avoid damaging the organs."

"Nya."

Anemone held out some freshly baked bread. I took a bite.

"Delicious! Did you help butcher the animals too, Anemone?"

"Yeah! There was nowhere to dispose of the organs, so I dried them with magic and then burned them. We also use them as fuel when making soup."

I see――once the moisture was gone, they contained plenty of fat, so they might burn quite well.

We couldn't possibly do this kind of work without everyone's cooperation.

The finished soup was served to the laborers, but naturally, it also became part of our own meal.

The viscountess was helping Primula and the others as well, but there were several unfamiliar women present.

"Who are they?"

"Ah, these are my maids. My carriage finally arrived."

"We never imagined Kanan-sama would be doing something like this."

"It is only because of our own inadequacy that Kanan-sama has been forced to..."

The maids, wearing navy maid uniforms and white aprons, kept bowing deeply to the viscountess.

"You lot, don't get the wrong idea. I'm doing this because I want to."

The viscountess's face was bright as she said that. In stark contrast, the young knights guarding her stood a short distance away with deeply disgruntled expressions.

Apparently, they couldn't stand seeing her perform such lowly work. Well, they probably thought I was forcing her to do it.

The female mage who had accompanied her when she first came to us had not followed us here.

Apparently, she had firmly declined because she didn't want to endure a month of hardship in a barren backcountry.

Primula and the others had prepared all the food, so I had no role to play at all.

There was grilled meat too, so we decided to eat it with the yakiniku sauce I had bought from Shangri-La.

I would have liked some white rice, but Anemone had gone to the trouble of baking such delicious bread.

Everyone dipped their meat in yakiniku sauce or ate it with salt and pepper, but even the beastfolk who disliked soy sauce seemed to be gradually getting used to the sauce.

Perhaps the commercial sauce's spices, garlic, and other ingredients kept them from noticing the smell of the soy sauce serving as its base.

"Mmm! Today's food is delicious too! I don't know what kind of meat it is, but this sauce is delicious as well!"

The viscountess was smiling, but the meat was probably something like a giant rat or giant lizard.

Those ingredients were eaten normally in this world, so there was no problem.

However, the maids behind the viscountess were fidgeting anxiously.

Perhaps they thought their mistress was being fed something dangerous――as if I would do that.

"Besides, this food is positively loaded with spices! Are you the one who possesses them, Kenichi-dono?"

"Yes. I use them personally because I can't sell them in the city."

"I see... The sauce is delicious, but the simple combination of salt and spices is wonderfully tasty too. Today's soup is a little spicy, but that only whets the appetite."

"Then――since Kanan-sama's retainers have arrived, may I assume that you will be staying with them from today onward?"

The viscountess's movements stopped completely when she heard that.

"Am I in the way, so you're throwing me out?"

She leaned forward and peered into my face.

"That isn't the case."

"Then I shall impose myself on you."

"If that's what Kanan-sama wishes, then of course, but..."

"Or are you saying I am in the way of the husband and his mistresses when they wish to enjoy themselves? If so, that presents no problem. You can simply include me as well."

Primula and the others stared intently at the conversation between the viscountess and me.

"Ha-ha-ha, it seems Kanan-sama is fond of jokes."

"You're no fun at all..."

Her carefree personality was charming. Perhaps this was the essence of being a noble――but Marie Antoinette, the famous queen of France, was said to have loaded luxurious carriages, furniture, tableware, and even barrels of wine when fleeing Paris during the revolution, only to fail to escape because her flight proceeded at a snail's pace.

We had finished eating, but because water was scarce, we could only bathe about once every three days.

On the days we didn't bathe, we simply wiped ourselves down and called it good――there was nothing else we could do.

However, because there was no water source nearby, the laborers went an entire month without bathing. They only obtained water to wipe themselves down――despite doing sweaty, physically demanding work.

Some of the laborers were fastidious beastfolk. They didn't even look dirty, so I wondered how they cleaned themselves.

I filled a cup with my usual shochu and went to ask the well-groomed beastman lying in front of the campfire.

"Can I have this drink?"

The black-and-white-spotted beastman sat up and accepted the drink with both hands.

"Yeah. Beastfolk are clean, aren't they? I was wondering how you keep yourselves clean in a place like this."

"Heh-heh... Whoa! This is delicious! It's strong, but what a good drink!"

"Do you run all the way to Kazura Lake in the neighboring territory?"

"At first, we went every day, but we found a spring in the forest."

According to him, there was a spring about two kilometers into the forest.

There was a large depression between the trees, and water collected there. Perhaps underground water was bubbling up.

If so, we could probably dig a huge hole with Ko○tsu-san and secure a water supply, but...

"Is it clean water?"

"Of course it is!"

The lake in the neighboring territory was more than twenty kilometers away one way. Two kilometers was nothing for beastfolk, but it would be rather difficult for ordinary humans.

If there was a clean spring nearby, it would be wiser to have the beastfolk secure water than to move Ko○tsu-san.

"Hey, beastfolk! How about earning a little money for drinks?"

The beastfolk who had been lying down slowly sat up and looked at me.

I took a white plastic tank that held twenty liters from my Item Box.

"Bring water in this container, and I'll give you a cup of liquor. This fellow is drinking it now, and it's delicious."

"Yeah! It's strong, and it's seriously good liquor!"

The beastfolk gathered around me.

"How many of those containers do you have?"

Let's see, one bath took about 120 liters... Two baths would be 240 liters. If we had twenty 20-liter tanks, that should be enough even after using water for various other things.

"I have twenty, so I'll give drinks to twenty people."

When I bought twenty plastic tanks from Shangri-La, white plastic containers came rattling down from the black sky.

"All right!" "Give me one!" "Idiot, I'm the one who gets it!" "I haven't had a drink in about five days!" "Who cares, idiot!"

Wine was provided with the meals, but to them, it was practically like water.

The liquor and snacks sold by the merchants were expensive. It was like the underground kingdom in a certain manga where Pe○ka could be used...

On top of that, there was even a traveling brothel here. Money simply kept flowing out.

The beastfolk used something resembling rock-paper-scissors to decide who got the plastic tanks, then disappeared into the dark forest.

With their legs and night vision, fetching water and returning should be easy for them.

They would probably be back soon, so I had to prepare twenty cups and some liquor.

In the roughly ten minutes it took me to prepare the liquor, the beastfolk returned one after another with their plastic tanks.

"All right, line up in order."

I handed the beastfolk cups of shochu in exchange for their plastic tanks.

"Whoa! This is delicious!" "What a strong drink!" "This is great!"

This shochu had also been popular with the people of Dalia. It seemed there was no distilled liquor in this world――

Using the magic tool I had bought for separating liquids, I could raise the alcohol content, so perhaps strong liquor did exist somewhere.

At any rate, we no longer seemed likely to have trouble with water. We could use it to wash the dishes as well.

I opened the lids and checked the contents. The water was clear. We could use it for cooking after boiling it.

"You certainly know how to make good use of people."

"I'm nothing special. My wife, Primula, is much better at handling people than I am."

"Oh?"

Rather than being good at handling people, I was simply surrounded by officials who were utterly useless.

------◇◇◇------

Ten days later, we were working about 2.5 kilometers into the forest.

Base camp had also moved into the forest, and everyone was now sleeping there.

The laborers were tired after finishing work, so they probably found it troublesome to trudge for about forty minutes all the way back outside the forest.

There didn't seem to be any danger for now, but we had people stand watch in shifts.

After all, numbers were what mattered in a fight――we had more than a hundred laborers, so we judged that monsters wouldn't attack us.

Besides, a main road ran nearby, so apparently it wasn't all that dangerous.

Even so, the merchants and the traveling brothel quickly retreated outside the forest as soon as the day's work ended.

I could have taken out the truck from my Item Box and transported people back and forth, but I had no obligation to do that.

The beastfolk borrowed containers from me and began selling water fetched from the spring to the other laborers. It was a little side job for them.

If the laborers didn't keep themselves at least somewhat clean, the risk of skin diseases and infections would increase.

Everyone was living packed together in a place like this, so an epidemic was entirely possible. If that happened, the work would be delayed even further.

Despite working in a remote area far from the city, the officials managing the site had made absolutely no preparations for anything like that.

No wonder the work wasn't progressing smoothly.

The viscountess had her own carriage, yet she kept sleeping and living alongside us――honestly, what did she find so enjoyable about it?

"Of course it's enjoyable! Delicious food, delicious wine, and fascinating stories about countries I've never heard of. You really are a sage, aren't you?"

"Kanan-sama, please give it a rest. How long are you going to treat this like a game? Besides, the officials you brought with you are completely useless, so Primula is handling nearly all of their duties for them."

Indeed, the completely useless officials were at the merchants' beck and call, getting ripped off at every turn and accomplishing nothing. Primula had finally stepped in because she couldn't bear to watch it.

Once Primula, a veteran merchant who was young but had received an elite education since childhood, joined in, the situation changed completely.

The merchants could no longer get away with cheating us, and whenever they complained, I could simply distribute supplies from Shangri-La.

If the supplies they had bought in bulk didn't sell at all, they would suffer enormous losses. Reluctantly, they lowered their prices to reasonable levels and began listening to us as well.

"Primula is even keeping the ledger!"

Seeing how overwhelmed she was, I bought her an abacus from Shangri-La, but she mastered its use immediately.

Of course, there were calculators too, but she would have had to learn Arabic numerals, and they were far too advanced for this world.

According to the viscountess, a calculating device resembling an abacus had made its way here from the Empire.

"Um, Kenichi... I like keeping ledgers, you know..."

"That's not what I'm saying."

"I'm sorry..."

I suddenly realized what Primula meant. It wasn't her fault at all.

"No, I'm sorry. Primula isn't to blame. This is all the fault of the useless people in the viscount's territory."

Since Primula was overwhelmed with substituting for the officials, the viscountess's maids had taken over helping with the cooking.

They were fussy and noisy, but apparently they were capable enough.

"No, I do feel sorry about that."

The viscountess looked unusually dejected.

"If you truly feel that way, regardless of status, you should secure somewhat more competent personnel."

"..."

The young knight who had been listening to the conversation behind us suddenly picked a fight.

"You bastard! How dare you speak to Kanan-sama like that!"

I'd had enough. I took a firecracker from my Item Box, lit it, and threw it at the knight.

My family, who knew what it was, all covered their ears. A flash and an explosive bang echoed through the already-dark forest.

At the sudden event, the laborers fled the area, while the young knight dropped his sword and fell on his backside.

This was humiliating――a knight letting go of his sword meant he had lost the will to fight, which was the ultimate disgrace.

Adventurers might throw their swords, but apparently knights did not.

I took a cutlass sword from my Item Box, and when I pointed it at the knight, he dropped to both knees and hung his head.

"Guh... kill me."

Kuk-koro is here! But it's a man? Kuk-koro is supposed to be for female knights! Who gets anything out of a man's kuk-koro?

"Then that means you'll do anything I tell you, right?"

"..."

The fact that he remained silent meant that was probably the case. After all, he was saying he was willing to die.

"Then don't interfere with what I do. Do nothing."

I made the other knight, who had also lost the will to fight, as well as the noisy maids and the officials, promise to follow those orders.

There was nothing more frightening than a hard-working incompetent.

For example, suppose there was a job that could be finished in five days. If everyone worked hard and devised an efficient method, it could be finished in three days, but instead it would somehow stretch to a week or even ten days through sheer waste.

There had been many highly capable people in Dalia, so I had assumed that was the default in this world, but apparently it wasn't.

That territory was actually among the more reasonable ones, and Primula held Count Asclepius in high regard, so that explained it.

No wonder officials like Croton were everywhere.

When I put the sword away in my Item Box, the viscountess came rushing over and suddenly threw her arms around me, breathing heavily.

"Kenichi-dono! Pierce me with your strong, sturdy, throbbing weapon! Haaah, haaah!"

"How did you possibly get from there to here?!"

I tried to pull the viscountess away, but she was surprisingly persistent.

"Ah... of course this is how it ends up."

"Just as I thought, nya."

"Mmm!"

The beastfolk looked exasperated, while Anemone glared at me.

"I understand! If that's what you want so badly, then I shall be your opponent! I'll give you more than enough!"

"Ah..."

Primula seemed to understand what I meant.

If she wanted it that badly, then I might as well give her more than enough.

That night, in the pitch-black forest, the viscountess's cries continued throughout the night from a cabin I had set up some distance from the house.