Chapter 8
Human relationships can't be resolved simply by pushing forward.
Just as a drawer that doesn't open easily breaks if you force it, a snack bag that won't tear easily bursts with a pop when you try to rip it open by force.
Human relationships need a certain amount of adjustment too.
Ah, you might mistake this for push and pull. It's not that.
Push and pull is a battle of wills to seize the initiative in a relationship, not something done to improve human relationships.
Besides, playing push and pull with magical girls whose mental states have already been shattered?
That's no different from deceiving the other person.
It's like handing a water bottle to a wanderer crossing the desert, only for it to turn out to be empty—a truly despicable thing to do.
Then what did I do?
I just gave her some time.
When she's pushing me away and clearly saying she doesn't like it, I should watch from a distance for a while rather than force myself on her.
Since hugging her hurts because of the wounds on her body, I should watch over her until they heal.
But…. I never expected her wounds to worsen instead of healing as time went on.
I came rushing back because I thought things would really become serious at this rate, but….
"Um…. It's a little constricting, so could you loosen your arms just a bit?"
…Who would have thought things would turn out like this.
"No."
When I asked her to loosen her arms, Yoo Seo-ah's arms didn't relax; they only tightened more than before.
It wasn't enough to suffocate me to death, but simply lying stiffly in someone's arms was quite an ordeal.
Especially when that someone possessed enough superhuman strength to bend steel bars with her bare hands.
'At this rate, something is going to break….'
Of course, I wouldn't actually burst, since I couldn't be injured or killed, but that didn't mean it wasn't uncomfortable….
Still….
"Swee…."
'I can escape whenever I want if I put my mind to it, so maybe I should let her sleep for now.'
Watching Yoo Seo-ah, who had fallen asleep at some point, I let my back rest against her.
Once Yoo Seo-ah was sound asleep, the arms holding me naturally relaxed, and I slowly got out of bed through the opening.
"Mmm…."
Yoo Seo-ah immediately noticed the moment I slipped out of her arms, let out a pained sound, and shifted in her sleep.
She looked as if she might wake at any moment, so I sat at the head of the bed and let her use my lap as a pillow.
"Hnn…. Swee…."
The hair brushing my thighs and the warmth of her breath tickled, but I endured it.
Right, a little tickling was better than being held like a stuffed bear.
Still, it would be less comforting than holding her, so I should do something else for her too.
What would be good….
'Oh, right.'
"Hush-a-bye, my baby…."
Hoping she would sleep a little more comfortably, I stroked her hair and sang her a lullaby.
It was nothing special, something anyone could do, but wouldn't that make it all the more special?
Magical girls living amid the extraordinary must long for this kind of normalcy all the more.
"Mom…."
"――…Hehe."
Who would have thought that I, who used to be a man, would get to hear someone call me Mom?
How should I put it? I suppose it was a little awkward.
I didn't dislike it, but I couldn't say I liked it either.
…Oh, well. If it makes her feel even a little more at ease, she can call me that as much as she wants.
That's what I've resolved ever since I entered this world.
Just as I was humming and stroking Yoo Seo-ah's hair.
Magical Girl Black's accessory began to glow.
It wasn't hard to figure out what that meant.
After all, it was a scene I'd seen countless times in novels.
After waiting a little, motes of light began gathering in one place within the accessory.
What appeared was a magical girl's mascot made to look like a chibi rabbit with black fur and bright-red eyes.
It was Myo-a (卯兒).
"Hello, Ms. Myo-a."
When I greeted her with a bright smile, Myo-a flinched the moment she saw me.
How rude, looking at someone as if they were a monster.
"…Angel."
"Aren't you going to add the myong ending? Or did you decide there's no need to use it in front of me?"
I had asked in all seriousness, but Myo-a only glared at me without saying a word.
"Angel, why are you here?"
"I'm not sure what you're asking. If you're asking why I'm in Yoo Seo-ah's house, Yoo Seo-ah brought me here."
"Aren't the noble beings of the celestial realm supposed to refrain from interfering in human affairs? That's why we stepped in, so why are you getting involved now?"
Myo-a's words sounded less like a question than a sarcastic jab at me.
"Are you getting impatient because our magical girls are winning people's hearts?"
No, now that I looked at it, she was definitely being sarcastic.
When I let out a deep sigh, Myo-a shouted.
"Answer me, angel!"
Perhaps Myo-a's voice was too loud, because Yoo Seo-ah frowned.
I spread the wings I'd kept folded and gently draped them over Yoo Seo-ah, then looked at Myo-a.
"Shh. Keep your voice down. Yoo Seo-ah is sleeping."
"…Don't pretend to care. In an angel's eyes, I'm sure we all look like nothing but identical lumps of meat anyway."
What is that supposed to mean? That's scary.
I blinked at Myo-a, then looked down at Yoo Seo-ah.
Jet-black hair, milky-white skin, and black eyes tinged with pale brown.
Yoo Seo-ah looked like an ordinary person, not a lump of meat.
Of course, the same was true of everyone else.
What kind of crazy thing was this mascot talking about, seeing people as lumps of meat?
"How rude. Just because people look that way to you, don't assume they'll look that way to me too."
When I frowned slightly and retorted, Myo-a's face twisted.
For a magical girl's mascot to make such a menacing face…. If children had seen her, they definitely would have cried.
"Then you came down here for the sake of the magical girl?"
"Right now, I came down for Seo-ah."
"That's the same thing in the end."
"No, it's different."
Listening to her, I wondered what this crazy mascot took people for.
"Yoo Seo-ah isn't Magical Girl Black."
"What does that mean…."
"It means that her essence is that of an ordinary human, not a magical girl."
People sometimes make the mistake of thinking that anyone chosen as a magical girl is no longer human, but a magical girl.
But that's wrong.
The essence of a magical girl is human, not a magical girl.
A girl, not an adult.
We mustn't forget that.
"Magical Girl Black should be nothing more than Seo-ah's alias. The name Yoo Seo-ah mustn't become another name for Magical Girl Black."
"…That's an idealistic notion. Don't assume that just because you think that way, everyone else will think the same. In other people's eyes, they'll look exactly the same in the end."
"Even so, that's fine. Even if other people deny it, all I have to do is affirm it that much more. That's why I'm here."
As I spoke while stroking Yoo Seo-ah's hair, Myo-a slowly flew toward me.
"Angel, if you really care about Yoo Seo-ah, you mustn't stay by her side."
Since she couldn't attack me, was she bringing Seo-ah into it now?
"What are you trying to say this time?"
"The more you stay by Seo-ah's side and indulge her, the weaker she'll become. If her heart wavers, her will wavers, and if her will wavers, a magical girl's power weakens. The enemies are growing stronger, but only Seo-ah is growing weaker. Because of you."
"Are you saying Seo-ah could die because of me?"
"Yes. Magical girls are beings who must overcome pain and hardship and give hope to people. That's what they were made to be. They mustn't lean on anyone or pass their burden on to someone else. That burden is the source of their strength."
Cruel words rose to the tip of my tongue at those utterly ridiculous words, but I couldn't spit them out.
It was because of the restriction that an angel must always say kind things.
'Look at this toxic thing spewing deadly venom from its mouth—just what you'd expect from a loneliness jar stuffed to the brim with the malice of a misery-porn author who loves forced angst. I really want to use a separation spell on it, starting with the head, then the chest, then the stomach.'
There was a mountain of abuse in my head, but after the filter revised it over and over, what came out was this:
"Ms. Myo-a and I don't see eye to eye. I happen to think differently."
"…."
"Magical girls aren't beings who simply give hope. They're beings who share the hope they possess."
Merely giving something away and sharing what you have are different.
The former means whittling yourself away, while the latter means giving away only part of what you have.
"That's why magical girls must receive hope and love. Just as someone who doesn't know love can't give love, someone who doesn't know hope can't give hope."
"They are still giving people hope. Are you going to deny that?"
"I have no intention of denying the path they've walked. But if you're merely calling a fabricated appearance hope, it's no different from false hope that will disappear when they wake up. I intend to turn that false hope into real hope."
"So you're going to give them hope and love? To magical girls? Do you think you can do that alone? Love isn't infinite. Hope isn't infinite either! That's how the world is made!"
"That's right. That's how the world is made. But I'm not like that."
I don't belong to this world.
"I'll share my love with the magical girls. Even if it's like watering a parched desert, that's fine. My love will never run dry."
Not hope that shines because of the praise surrounding them.
Until they become stars that shine on their own.
"…I'll be watching to see how far that idealistic notion of yours goes."
Saying that, Myo-a went back inside the accessory.
I smiled at the sight and continued stroking Yoo Seo-ah's hair until she woke up.
"Mmm…. Ah, I must have dozed off."
"Are you awake?"
"Ah…. Sorry…. I haven't been able to sleep for days, so I was really tired. Is your leg okay?"
"I'm fine!"
It was a lie. In truth, my leg had cramped up.
If I hadn't been able to fly, I'd have collapsed on the floor like Yamcha by now.
Still, if Seo-ah slept well at the cost of my leg, that was enough for me!