Chapter 15
[ Would you like to enter Floor 4? ]
[ Yes ]
Vroooom──
The scenery around me shifted as my vision twisted and warped.
"...Ugh."
The familiar sensation of my brain getting rattled.
I let out a small groan, but the motion sickness was manageable enough.
I quickly got my bearings and immediately looked around at the forest.
Trickle-trickle.
"Is there water nearby?"
Along with the smell of earth after rain, I could faintly hear running water.
The trees weren't very dense, either, giving it a very different atmosphere from the gloomy forest on Floor 3.
I headed toward the sound, and before long a small stream came into view.
There, I spotted a familiar elf bathing in the stream.
"Ah."
"...Oh."
The elf was Iris.
Except now she was almost half-naked, with only a towel wrapped around her.
Sway!
The flesh squeezed by the towel she'd tied around herself swayed precariously, as if it might spill out at any moment.
Seeing that, my face turned bright red, and I hurriedly looked away from her.
"S-sorry! I wasn't trying to look..."
"Ahh!! Human... no, Lady A-yeon??"
But Iris herself didn't seem embarrassed at all. She pointed at me like she'd just spotted a runaway guitar and said:
"Why are you only showing up now!! It's been almost a month!!"
"...What? It's already been a month?"
"Yes!!"
But only a day had passed outside.
Did time flow differently inside the Tower and outside?
'Well, that happens all the time in the Tower.'
Even below Floor 10, the time period when each climber entered the Tower varied wildly.
Some people landed in the middle of a war that had happened a thousand years ago, while others arrived in the peaceful era after the war had ended.
'Come to think of it, what time period is my floor set in?'
They say the higher the difficulty, the further back in time it is.
At Lunatic difficulty, it was probably set pretty far in the past.
Suddenly curious, I casually asked Iris.
"Iris. What year is it in the Imperial Calendar?"
"Huh? The Empire?"
"...Who else would I be asking?"
Yeah, I'd more or less expected that.
There was no way this drug-addled elf bitch would know something like that.
Elves were pretty isolationist to begin with.
Even other elves probably wouldn't know much about human affairs.
After finishing her bath and getting out of the water, Iris picked up her neatly folded clothes and put them on, then spoke to me reproachfully.
"Anyway, do you know how anxiously I've been waiting for you?"
"How anxiously?"
"My hands were shaking... I could barely breathe... I was getting goosebumps all over..."
"...I don't think that was from waiting."
Crazy drug-addled elf bitch.
Those were obviously withdrawal symptoms...
Still, considering how much she took on a regular basis, it would've been strange if she didn't get withdrawal symptoms.
The fact that she was still alive and hadn't died from the side effects was practically a miracle.
But Iris continued speaking as if it were no big deal.
"It's nothing serious. I feel better when I circulate my mana through meditation."
"......"
Those mana-absolutists...
Magic power and mana are cure-alls, huh? They can do anything, right?
'Of course, elves are a race born with the blessing of mana...'
But using it to erase the side effects of drugs? That seemed a bit much.
If the elves had some kind of creator, they'd definitely be weeping.
"So hurry up and hand over the candy."
"......"
Iris demanded candy as though she'd left it with me.
I looked at her with pity, but held up my empty hands and said as if I were in a bind:
"Sorry, but I'm out too."
"What?? Why?"
"I ran out of Ferum Flower sap."
To begin with, the sap I'd taken back then amounted to only about five cans.
I made around two cans' worth into candy and gave it to Iris, then drank the rest to work on my trait.
My 420% addiction rate didn't come out of thin air.
"Oh, you mean Ppeukkumi?"
But maybe this veteran druggie had planned for this all along?
At the news that I was out of sap, Iris gave me a triumphant look and said:
"It's fine! I knew this would happen, so I've been cultivating some nearby!"
"...What?"
The Ppeukkumis... the Ferum Flowers...?
She was cultivating them...? The drug flowers...?
Purple lights... plastic tanks...
Breaking up clear glass panes to make white powder...
Suwon Wang Galbi Chicken...
Clink, clink...
'Ugh... my head...'
The image of Iris in handcuffs kept appearing before my eyes.
While I suffered a headache for reasons I couldn't understand, the elf in front of me continued with an innocent expression.
"Come on! I'll show you."
Then she grabbed my wrist and hurried off somewhere.
I pulled my wrist away and asked in an urgent voice:
"W-wait...!! Aren't they dangerous...?"
"Not at all? Our Ppeukkumis are gentle. They're good kids."
"......"
That sounded an awful lot like 'my dog doesn't bite.'
In my experience, no dog is gentle when its owner says that.
"Are you sure they're really okay...?"
"O-of course... They recognize humans as prey, so... they might nibble a little..."
"...Hey."
As expected, Iris avoided my eyes after saying something I couldn't possibly ignore.
When I glared at her coldly, she belatedly changed her tune and tried to smooth things over.
"B-but I'll be there, so it should be fine...!"
"Are you sure?"
"...Probably!"
"....."
I was a little suspicious, but I didn't have any other options, so I followed Iris.
How long had we been walking along the forest paths, twisting like a maze?
The canopy grew thicker as the trees towered higher, and soon the gloomy forest I'd seen on Floor 3 spread out before us.
And not long after entering the dark forest...
Familiar red flowers began to appear in the distance.
A colony of a dozen or so Ferum Flowers, planted at intervals beneath a sheer cliff.
The soil beneath the shade had turned black and was soaked through, and for some reason, it seemed to give off a rotting stench.
A colony with a bunch of Floor 10 boss monsters gathered together.
Other Awakened would freak out if they saw this.
While I made a brief observation to myself, Iris proudly showed off her farm and said:
"Ta-da! This is my pride and joy... Huh?"
But something was wrong.
The Ferum Flowers, which should have greeted us with their tentacle-like vines, were drooping motionlessly for some reason.
Their flower buds, which should have been blood-red, had withered and turned brown or black.
Squelch...
Most tellingly, all the sap that should have been gathered inside the flower buds was oozing onto the ground.
Seeing it, Iris screamed.
"Ppeukkumiiii!!!!"
It was a wail much like that of a parent who'd lost their child.
But instead of the withered Ppeukkumis, Iris dashed toward the sap soaking the ground and began to cry.
"Waaah...!! The Ppeukkumis' precious sap...!!"
Somehow, I regretted almost being moved.
Give me back my touching moment, you druggie bitch.
"...Could I maybe salvage the parts that didn't touch the dirt...?"
"......"
As Iris stared at the sap on the ground, debating whether or not to stick out her tongue...
A faint sound suddenly began to come from somewhere.
Ssshhhhh──
'The wind?'
Sensing something was off, I instinctively turned around.
And in that instant, a vine whipped down like a lash toward Iris, who was about to put her tongue to the sap.
──KABOOOOM!!!!
The noise nearly split my eardrums.
A cloud of dust rose from the spot where Iris had been.
"Aah...?!"
Her scream came a beat later.
Then, as the dust cloud settled, a crumpled metal sheet, bent beyond recognition, fell limply in front of Iris, who was curled up on the ground.
THUD!!
"W-what is this...?"
"...Hah, hah."
Breathing hard, I gathered the mana in the hand I'd stretched toward Iris.
In that split second, I'd used Transmutation to make a metal sheet and protect her.
Then I shouted at Iris, who was still sprawled on the ground:
"You crazy woman!! You said they wouldn't attack!!"
"R-right... They shouldn't have... This shouldn't be happening..."
Ssshhwwack──
"...Damn it!! Fuck!!"
The vines, no longer even trying to hide, lashed out in multiple bundles.
This time they were targeting me instead of Iris, so I quickly made a metal pillar beneath my feet and launched myself forward.
BANG!
After dodging once and getting a brief moment to breathe, I finally got a good look at the thing that had attacked us.
As expected, it was a Ferum Flower.
But it wasn't just any Ppeukkumi.
It was an evil Ppeukkumi.
Gurgle...
Thick, dark purple slime covered the Ferum Flower like a tumor.
Whenever it gurgled, I could catch a glimpse of Black Sludge inside its mouth instead of white sap.
Just then, Iris must have gotten a good look at it too. She murmured in a low voice, stunned:
"Why is there Black Sludge... inside a Ppeukkumi...?"
The Floor 10 boss and the Floor 5 boss.
The Opium Flower and the Grape Smoothie.
The two had fused together.
"...Fuck."
What the hell should I even call that?
Grape Flower? Opium Smoothie?
Why the hell were monsters fusing together in the first place!!
Doesn't she know that only transforming robots and siblings can fuse!!
Ding!
[ Main Quest ]
- Defeat the monster. (0/1)
- Reward: Floor 5 Entry Ticket, Superior Magic Stones x10
Just then, a quest window appeared before me as if it had been waiting for this moment.
The reason the quest appeared right now was obvious.
Apparently, I had to take down that hybrid to clear Floor 4.
"Al!!"
Shrrrring!!
I immediately reshaped the aluminum shield I'd used to protect Iris into a sword, gripped it in my hand, and kicked off the ground, charging toward the flower bud.
Whirl, Ssshhwwack!!
The vines, now moving in earnest, scattered in erratic trajectories like guided missiles.
They spread out like a net to ensnare me, and vines as thick as my forearm came flying at me like whips from every direction.
An attack that would've left me helpless before.
But now, they couldn't touch me.
[ Drug Addiction ]
- Rank: EX
- Ability: Consuming drugs increases your stats in proportion to your addiction rate.
- Addiction rate: 1,420%
My addiction rate was now a whopping 1,420%.
My eyesight, fourteen times sharper than before, tracked each vine's movement and found the gaps.
"I see it!! The thread of the opening!!"
I twisted my body in midair, dodging the incoming vines.
The vines barely missed me and slammed into the ground instead.
KABOOM!!
A pillar of dirt and dust shot upward.
Then, slicing through that pillar of dust, an invisible blade came flying.
"『Wind Cutter』!!"
Shhk!!
Iris's wind magic.
The magic that made me want to shout "Wind Scar!" chopped the vines into pieces like perfectly cooked gopchang.
The brief opening she'd made gave me a moment to act.
I immediately made a metal pillar shoot up beneath my feet.
"Transmutation."
BANG!
The force of acceleration sent my body shooting forward.
The scenery stretched into long streaks as the distance between me and the flower bud closed.
Then I gripped the aluminum sword, held horizontally, with both hands and put my weight behind it.
Shhk─
With another slicing sound...
A long horizontal gash appeared across the flower bud holding the Black Sludge.
......
...
...
"...Did I get it?"
Gurgle, gurgle...!
"Fuck, guess not."
Shouldn't have jinxed it.
My mouth is always getting me into trouble.
GUSH!!
"Ugh, gross."
The gash split open, spraying dark purple slime everywhere.
Not wanting my clothes to melt again, I quickly dodged the slime and put some distance between myself and the Ferum Flower.
"D-did you get it...?"
"No. It didn't do shit."
I shook my head as Iris jinxed it again.
If it was still alive after I'd split open its flower bud, then the Ferum Flower itself probably wasn't the main body.
Was the Black Sludge using the Ferum Flower as a host and controlling it?
"...『Wind Cutter』."
Shhk!!
Iris tried casting her magic once more, but it only left another gash in the flower bud and didn't seem to do much damage.
The flower bud was probably protecting the Black Sludge.
Like a hermit crab wearing a shell.
"...This is annoying. Our attacks aren't working."
"We have to find its core and destroy it."
"That's easier said than done... I can't even get close because of the toxins."
Iris complained, wrinkling her nose at the stench.
Actually, it wasn't particularly difficult for me.
I could just go inside that flower bud like last time, smash the Black Sludge's core, and get back out.
The Black Sludge's slime didn't affect me anyway.
But even so, going in there was...
'...No way. Absolutely not. Fuck no.'
Again, Black Sludge stank.
And I mean really, really bad.
More precisely, it smelled like a sewer where someone had spilled kimchi pancakes during the rainy season.
On top of that, if it touched my clothes, it'd melt them right off in an instant.
If my last outfit melted too, I'd have to live naked for a while.
Or at least walk all the way home from the Tower wearing nothing but a towel.
That was absolutely out of the question.
No, it couldn't be allowed to happen.
'...I need another way.'
I immediately opened the Awakened Community.
Then I took a photo of the hybrid Grape Flower in front of me and posted a question to bait people into replying.
[ What do I do if I got drunk and pissed on my mother-in-law's bed ]
[ Posted by: 39.7 ]
< Photo of a Ferum Flower contaminated by Black Sludge >
A Grape Smoothie and a Ppeukkumi Flower did a fusion dance. What do I do?
The core's inside the flower bud, so it's hard to find;;;
- Anonymous Climber: Huh? They fused together?
- Anonymous Climber: Is that for real...?
- Great Mage: So where's the bed piss??
└ Anonymous Climber: Please, dude;;
- Anonymous Climber: No, what the fuck, why are they fusing together?
Comments started pouring in as soon as I posted.
But most of the replies were just people freaking out, and there wasn't much useful information.
Getting impatient, I hurriedly added a comment urging them to hurry up.
- (OP) 39.7: Hurry, it's urgent
└ Ice Freak: Why not just freeze it?
└ (OP) 39.7: As if I could...
└ (OP) 39.7: You're the only one who can do that
└ If a Cow Burns, Carbon: Then burn it, yeah
└ (OP) 39.7: ;;;;
"Maybe..."
At the comment from a familiar verified user, I looked at the ring on my finger for a moment, then shook my head.
I couldn't use Hong Yeon-hwa's magic here.
You could tell from her usual behavior that she was a lunatic for firepower.
If I used it, the whole forest would go up in flames.
I couldn't burn down the entire forest just to kill one flower.
- Speed Vegan: ??? They can fuse together???
└ (OP) 39.7: Have you ever seen anything like this?
└ (OP) 39.7: If so, any tips?
└ (OP) 39.7: Hurry
└ Speed Vegan: No... I've never seen anything like this either...
└ Speed Vegan: I don't know... I'm scared...
└ (OP) 39.7: ;;;;;
"Vegan Ham, not you too..."
Even Speed Vegan had apparently never seen those things fuse together.
He was the one person I'd had some hope for, but it looked like I wasn't getting any help from him.
"...What are you doing?"
"Wait. I'm thinking."
I gave Iris, who was talking to me from beside me, a vague answer, then refreshed the page and started reading the newest comment.
- Save the Newbies: So the Black Sludge is inside that bud, right?
"Oh...?"
Just then, I spotted a familiar username in the comments.
Despite having the word 'Newbie' in his name, he was famous as a veteran Awakened who was more old-school than anyone.
I immediately replied to his comment.
└ (OP) 39.7: Yeah, the Black Smoothie seems to be the real body
└ (OP) 39.7: Its core's inside the flower, so I can't break it
└ (OP) 39.7: Any way to deal with it??
└ Save the Newbies: Wait
└ Save the Newbies: Looking for a link right now
After he'd said he was looking for a link, about a dozen seconds passed with no more comments.
└ Save the Newbies: < Link >
At Save the Newbies' next comment, I immediately clicked the link he'd sent.
[ ☆ Info/Guide) Black Sludge Guide: Even E-Ranks Can Do It (It's Fun!) (1187) ]
[ Posted by: Save the Newbies ]
Clicking the link took me to a guide post.
It had been written a whopping five years ago and was a popular post with over a thousand comments.
I quickly read through the guide.
Then, intrigued by what it said, I looked at the elf in front of me with a smile.
"Oh...?"
"...What?"
If this works...
I might be able to kill it without going inside...?