Chapter 82
Call of KongKong.
The Ero-Trap Dungeon Master asked me for help.
ㄴOrange★ : What's going on??
ㄴOrange★ : And you're asking a newbie for support
ㄴGolem King : For real, this is the first time I've seen KongKong say something that directly.
ㄴGolem King : Did some insanely tough Blesser show up???
ㄴSkeleton Bones : What??
ㄴSkeleton Bones : Is this some super-funny hidden-camera prank??
ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : Honestly, the newbie is right next door???
ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : I can't resist wanting to see it, can I???
ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : DDDDDD
ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : Is this that push-and-pull thing or what?
I'd be happy to.
As a dungeon master, I can't refuse the income.
But here's the thing.
Until recently, about coming to the dungeon...
Did KongKong have a change of heart?
ㄴNewbie : I can go anytime.
ㄴNewbie : But you'd been silent until recently,
ㄴNewbie : so I thought you were turning me down...
ㄴKongKong : It's a little hard to explain the details in the gallery,
ㄴKongKong : so could we talk in person?
ㄴNewbie : Then at least give me a brief explanation in a private comment...
ㄴKongKong : As for private comments, uh...
ㄴKongKong : the head mod can see them, so that's a bit awkward.
ㄴOrange★ : "!"
ㄴOrange★ : ......
ㄴOrange★ : I'm pretty tight-lipped too......
ㄴSkeleton Bones : Drawing a line with the head mod is freaking hilarious lol
ㄴSkeleton Bones : lololololololol
ㄴAnt Queen : lolololololololololol
ㄴNight Raven : lolololololololololol
ㄴCowhead : Why is the head mod being flustered so funny, lol
ㄴTV Head : That is very KongKong, though
ㄴTV Head : At this point, I'm getting curious about the reason too...
ㄴKing Slayer : Anyway, there's no way for us to know...
ㄴKing Slayer : Last time I asked this bastard Newbie to show me a freshly washed face photo
ㄴKing Slayer : he refused to show it to the very end, the true man of loyalty in this age lol
ㄴWorld Is Cold : hehe
ㄴSealed Conqueror : Even if we asked to see a picture of KongKong this time,
ㄴSealed Conqueror : he'd just ignore us and keep it to himself, right??
ㄴSealed Conqueror : So heartbreaking and disappointing.
ㄴSealed Philosopher : But that's true.
ㄴDungeon Master Was Disappointed : Privacy is important, after all. ㅇㅇ
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Ha... look at this fox bitch.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : So you've finally shown your true colors????
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : You'd been quiet all this time, so I wasn't paying attention,
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : but you were collecting excuses to wag your tail at Newbie...
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Originally, I was going to observe the count's territory.
But in that case, I'll need to change the plan a bit.
Anyway, the location shift changed the dungeon coordinates too.
The count also suffered heavy losses.
He won't be coming straight into Dream Land right away.
Let's handle the immediate problem first.
"Malrang, return!"
-Eek.
I ordered Malrang, who had been flying toward the count's territory, to return.
Since it had been about five hours since departure, it shouldn't take too much time.
ㄴNewbie : Hyung-nim, please tell me the dungeon coordinates
ㄴKongKong : Just a moment.
ㄴKongKong : Everyone's already gone out...
ㄴKongKong : but like when you helped with the car wash before, there might be a camp set up in front of the entrance.
ㄴKongKong : Please check your surroundings carefully.
ㄴKongKong : Anyway, please stay safe and don't get spotted.
ㄴKongKong : And thank you so much for agreeing so readily.
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"All right, let's go.",
"Eek."
Malrang, Dream Land's scout, cleaner, comfort plushie, and ride.
The moment it returned, I set off for KongKong's dungeon.
KongKong's dungeon is called "Night."
Not the chestnut you eat, but apparently the "night" from night sky.
Though KongKong denies it.
A dungeon famous outside for being lewd.
"If it's an ero-trap dungeon, how on earth does it work...?"
What, does it try to get people to die of sex-induced exhaustion?
I should've asked Sarang about it before going.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Newbie, what are you thinking about now haha?
Hm.
Hmmmm.
Hmmmmmm.
No, honestly, if you're a guy, you're curious, right?
I can't help being interested.
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Floating along.
Flying Malrang's inside is warm and cozy today too.
Malrang's transparent body was like glass.
I enjoyed the scenery outside like someone looking down from a Ferris wheel.
Snow was falling from the sky.
Piling up on the trees and grass.
Animals leave footprints on the white ground.
Snow is just like powdered sugar.
It melts away in a flash just from touching it.
Because it beautifies things that normally aren't much to look at.
Snow is trash once you step on it, though.
But just looking at it like this really feels healing.
Newbie : The scenery is pretty, right? lol
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Don't do anything weird when you go to KongKong's dungeon ㅠㅠ
I said exactly 53 times that I wouldn't.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : But...
Ah.
ㄴNewbie : If Sarang says she can no longer trust me!
ㄴNewbie : What reason do I have left to live!
ㄴNewbie : I'll just die then
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : ㅠㅠ...
The way to deal with a menhera is to menhera back.
If I become a menhera too, the other person's options shrink.
Anyway.
By the time I was chatting away,
we had somehow almost arrived at the destination.
KongKong-ham's dungeon was in a place called Blue Tree Plain.
Blue Tree Plain is, well, just a normal snow-covered plain.
There are dire wolves that are a whopping five times bigger than ordinary wolves, for example.
It's a region where powerful monsters like yetis and trolls appear.
If it were only monsters, it wouldn't be a problem.
The thing to watch out for is that it's located close to Marquess Dabirus's territory.
There's a high chance those bastards will come here.
"Just like this."
There was a camp set up at the entrance to Night.
Inside were armed people as far as the eye could see.
They looked like intruders in KongKong's dungeon.
It wasn't bigger than the Dream Land raid group I'd seen in my dungeon before.
But their clothing and each person's aura were anything but ordinary.
They were clearly elite members, I'd say.
I took a picture from the sky and posted it to Dungeon Gallery.
It's the White Storm Knight Order.
The fat middle-aged man in the center looks like Marquess Dabirus, ㅇㅇ
Luckily, there isn't a Sword Master.
If it's just a knight order, then...
There are only 15 of them including the marquess, so it doesn't seem like they brought that many.
If they haven't recently been hit by a Blesser, then...
KongKong should be able to hold them off without much trouble, right?
ㄴNewbie : KongKong-nim
ㄴNewbie : Is it because of those guys that you're in trouble right now?
ㄴKongKong : Yes, that's right.
ㄴKongKong : But do you think you can get inside the dungeon, Newbie-nim?
ㄴKongKong : They're stuck right at the entrance like that.
So.
It's the same "we're screwed" feeling as with Car Wash-ham.
Or rather, that didn't seem to be the case.
Judging by the veterans' reactions, KongKong-ham's dungeon doesn't seem to be weak either.
Why did KongKong call me to the dungeon?
"Well, I'd know if I went in..."
How am I supposed to get in here.
At least with Car Wash-ham, the elves had set up camp far enough from the entrance that I could just walk in, but these bastards are glued right to the entrance.
Hm.
Should I try shrinking once?
If only I could shrink too.
"Eek."
Malrang refused.
Apparently only it can shrink.
"Fuck it, should I just drop one of the anomalies on them?"
No.
If I could wipe them out all at once, I would,
but otherwise I might just waste points and rules for nothing.
Right now I'm also in a body that's drawing aggro.
"There's a better way... ah."
I thought of something good.
Without needing to use our cute anomalies for something like this.
A way to get into the dungeon without those knights noticing, that's what I mean.
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The plain wasn't a completely open field.
There were trees and grass, and hills too, so there were places to hide.
I came down from the sky and lay flat on the ground.
Then I whispered to Malrang and gave it a secret mission.
"Eek!"
Malrang stretched part of itself long and struck a loyal pose.
Then it disappeared somewhere.
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A moment later.
The ground began to tremble.
"W-what?"
"Where is that sound coming from?"
The intruders were flustered.
They started looking around for the source.
My eyes also followed the place they were looking at.
There, white mist was rising.
It looked like an avalanche had started.
"Grrr! Grrr!"
Trolls were running from beyond there.
They were screaming as if they were utterly enraged.
In front of them, Malrang was fleeing at a hair's-breadth speed,
wiggling its butt right in front of their noses as it ran.
Hmm.
From my perspective, it felt a little like that Turkish ice cream guy.
Annoying, right~?
Annoying, right~?
A familiar voice echoes in my head.
I watched Malrang luring the trolls,
and this really wasn't ordinary trolling.
With its slick body, it was rubbing against the trolls' bodies (mostly their armpits) to tickle them.
At first the trolls ignored it,
-Eek.
Malrang was a slime that didn't know how to give up.
The tickling, like nonstop hip thrusts, kept going relentlessly.
Honestly, I think they'd have no choice but to get angry.
Every time they tried to peel Malrang off their bodies,
it wouldn't even let them touch its body.
From start to finish, Malrang never let itself get hit even once.
It won't die anyway since it's immortal.
But seeing it do that, it really was my minion.
I don't know if this is the right phrase to use here,
but they say anger is often contagious.
One troll hit Malrang, then hit another troll.
It spread and spread like a chain reaction.
By now, a whole tribe of frost trolls was chasing Malrang.
Malrang's destination was none other than Marquess Dabirus's camp.
"A slime and trolls...?"
"They're approaching this way!"
"Why are they suddenly coming toward us...?"
"W-we don't know either...."
The knights were flustered by the trolls' sudden appearance,
but they quickly recovered.
"Everyone, prepare for battle!"
Hearing Marquess Dabirus's order, they drew their swords
and came out of the camp to prepare for battle.
13, 14, 15, okay. No problem.
The camp was empty.
Their attention had also been drawn that way.
It was a perfect situation to infiltrate.
Nice work, Malrang.
See you inside the dungeon later.
I ran toward KongKong's dungeon.
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I blinked.
Once I went through the entrance, a long corridor made of stone blocks like you'd see in an underground prison came into view.
The dim pink lighting that softly illuminated the area felt oddly lewd.
.
"You're Newbie-nim, right? Ah, hello..."
In front of me stood a woman greeting me.
A woman?
A woman?
But someone might ask whether that's a little too hasty a judgment,
since Car Wash-ham is a man too.
But this had to be a woman.
After all, the overwhelming chest fat on display proved she was female.
'Wow, look at that....'
KongKong also didn't have the appearance of an ordinary human.
Pink bobbed hair, protruding horns.
And a demon tail.
"A-ah, even if it's Newbie-nim, staring at me that hard is a bit much..."
KongKong's true identity was a pink-haired succubus.