Chapter 83
Golem King : So the Newbie is going inside KongKong's dungeon now??
ㄴNewbie : Yep.
ㄴNewbie : Malang-i distracted them, so I got in safely.
ㄴCowhead : If you got in, you should at least post a proof photo ㅡㅡ
ㄴNewbie : I haven't gotten permission yet...
ㄴCowhead : What, then
ㄴCowhead : if KongKong doesn't get the green light
ㄴCowhead : does that mean there won't be a live reaction to this super fun anomaly this time??
ㄴNewbie : I guess so...?
ㄴSkeleton Bones : Really?
ㄴAnt Queen : Really?
ㄴKingjjang Evil Spirit : That's rough.
ㄴDIP : Even so, you still have to do the live coverage ㅡㅡ
ㄴCowhead : Where in the world is there such a rule!!!!!
ㄴCowhead : I've been holding out every day, soothing my aching heart because I've been waiting for your live coverage.
ㄴCowhead : And some bastard who doesn't even know what KongKong's dungeon is has shown up here........
【Deleted comment.】
【User temporarily banned.】
ㄴSkeleton Bones : Heheh;;
ㄴKingjjang Evil Spirit : The invisible moderator is banning DunGal users...
ㄴAnt Queen : It's a memory that doesn't exist, hehe;;;
ㄴDIP : We saw nothing...
ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : H-honestly, I'm curious about the anomaly live coverage...
ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : but I also think DunGal's rules are important...
ㄴMagic Hero : Ah...
ㄴMagic Hero : Why are you stealing my line first...
ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : That's true, though.
ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : If the dungeon master doesn't like it,
ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : let's not spread bait about other dungeons.
ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : We already wrapped that story up, guys, haha;;
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ㄴShibgan Love Dog(◑) : Newbie,
ㄴShibgan Love Dog(◑) : what if KongKong is actually, for real, a succubus??
ㄴShibgan Love Dog(◑) : Of course helping a dungeon master in danger is a good thing,
ㄴShibgan Love Dog(◑) : but if KongKong is pretty, or gives you candy.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog(◑) : you absolutely must not do anything weird. (very serious)
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I exited the gallery.
Just moments ago, I encountered a pink-haired succubus.
Her nickname is KongKong, and her job is Ero Trap Dungeon Master.
She's one of the veterans who'd kept herself hidden until now.
"Mm...."
What should I say?
I'm not exactly that good with words either,
and KongKong seemed to be quite the loner.
"Mm...."
An awkward silence settled in.
KongKong's eyes had nowhere to go.
Mine were the same.
What am I supposed to talk about?
Unlike with Sechaham's dungeon, this is suffocating.
"So you were a sister, not a brother."
"Well, yes...?"
"You're really a sister...?"
"Then do I look like a brother to you...?"
KongKong tilted her head.
Whew, that reaction means I can probably relax.
"For now, here's a housewarming gift."
"Who gives a dungeon master an escape scroll and calls it a present?"
KongKong snorted a laugh.
"It's the most expensive thing I have..."
"I'll accept the thought. It's useless to me, but it might be something you need, Newbie."
"Then if I come across something useful next time, I'll give it to you then."
"Sounds good."
The awkward atmosphere loosened for a moment.
That's an icebreaker.
"You can speak casually, Sister."
"Can I?"
"Of course. You're way more senior than me, so you can swear casually too."
"Okay..."
KongKong continued, looking much more at ease.
"Since it feels a little awkward just standing here, should we go inside and talk?"
"I'd love that."
"But before we go in, there's something I want to be sure of: could you keep quiet about my dungeon to everyone even after this?"
I blinked.
I had a rough idea,
but it would be better to ask her directly.
"May I ask why?"
"You already know at least some of it, don't you?"
"What do you mean?"
KongKong Sister's ears turned red.
Her lips moved before she muttered in a tiny voice,
"that, that... my dungeon is a little unusual."
Mm.
So the rumors were true.
"That's true."
"Damn it... then why ask! You should've noticed and moved on quickly!"
"I just wanted a definite answer."
KongKong Sister lowered her head deeply.
She looked mortified.
"W-well... my, my dungeon is shameful... It's not the kind of lewd dungeon you're imagining, so I don't want to show it to the others... Ugh, is that good enough?"
Is this that humiliation play thing or whatever?
KongKong Sister was embarrassed far beyond my expectations.
"Honestly, I think even Ero Trap Dungeon sounds cool..."
"Don't call it that slur...!"
"No, seriously, isn't it about that level? Why are you so embarrassed?"
"Uuugh..."
In this world, there's a term called a honey trap, you know.
A method of using a pretty woman to drive someone to ruin.
That appears very often in the history I know.
I think an Ero Trap Dungeon is a kind of honey trap too.
There's nothing wrong with a dungeon that repels intruders by using something naughty.
I don't think it's something you need to be this embarrassed about.
Have some pride. I think KongKong Sister's dungeon is incredibly cool.
I gave her a thumbs-up in approval.
But.
KongKong Sister's attitude was even more stubborn than I'd expected.
She just kept shaking her head.
"No, no, no, absolutely not! Honestly, you think so too, don't you? Everyone else is out there commanding obviously cool minions like dragons, undead, golems, or spirits and fighting intruders! But my dungeon has nothing but weird, shameful stuff like tentacles, succubi, monster girls, and the traps are all some kind of...!"
In a word, what Sister was saying was
that her dungeon was the worst.
That was her claim.
Tears were even welling at the corners of her eyes.
As a fellow 'unusual' dungeon master, my heart hurt too.
Ero Trap Dungeon.
Is it really that embarrassing???
I want her to have some confidence.
Even this Newbie, who controls anomalies, walks around with his chest out.
A dungeon that juices intruders dry and beats them isn't supposed to be cool, is it!? The minions go 'hehehe' every day trying to suck every last drop of essence out of the intruders, and the intruders aren't even coming in for mana stones anymore—they're coming in to hook up with the minions... At this point, I can't tell whether I'm the owner of a brothel or a dungeon master, puhaha, hahahaha, ah, seriously, isn't it funny? Hehehe, hehehehe, ahhh....
The hardships of an Ero Trap Dungeon Master.
Is that a pain this Newbie can't even imagine?
I couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying.
KongKong Sister wore an expression I couldn't read.
Phew.
No good.
It's time to show this Newbie's real skills.
From here on out, I'm going to headpat KongKong Sister with everything I've got.
"You know the saying 'a beauty that can topple kingdoms'? Why do you think that phrase exists in this world? Looks are power. Sex appeal is the same. Anyway, whether you kill intruders by screwing them, with a blade, or with an anomaly, the method doesn't matter, I think."
"......"
"The result is the same either way: you defeat the intruder. So, Sister, as an Ero Trap Dungeon Master, hold your head high and live proudly. Your dungeon is shining brilliantly today as well."
Once more, I fired off a thumbs-up.
KongKong Sister fidgeted with her fingers and stared at me intently.
"S-so then, Newbie, between Dino World and Night, which dungeon master would you want to be? My level and points are way higher than yours..."
Mm.
"......Dino World."
"You bastard."
How am I supposed to resist dinosaurs?
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Night was an incredible dungeon in many ways.
The minions, wearing scraps of cloth so skimpy they were barely worthy of being called clothes, waved at me cheerfully.
Wow.
That was seriously lewd.
If I didn't have the mental resistance trait, I'd definitely have been bewitched.
The prettiest minion in my dungeon is the merchant in Zone 4,
and there are people roaming around this dungeon who are just as stunning in looks and body.
"They're not sentient, right?"
"Yeah. Just think of them as dolls with human forms."
According to Sarang-i,
those who visit KongKong's dungeon come not only for mana stones,
but also for quite a few other shady reasons.
Of course, this dungeon isn't a brothel or anything.
The ending is pretty much death.
Even knowing that, the fact that quite a few people still go in
makes it seem like there are plenty of friends whose brains are ruled by their genitals.
Well,
unlike Earth, the world I used to live in, this world was short on dopamine.
They say it gives you the ultimate pleasure.
I don't know if it's really a place worth challenging for people living stimulation-starved lives... I'm not so sure.
For all those reasons, KongKong's dungeon was one of the most famous dungeons in the world.
So I heard.
A dungeon where you can die the happiest, or something like that.
"How did you end up becoming the dungeon master of an Ero Trap Dungeon?"
"Did you know what kind of theme the anomaly was and choose it?"
"That wasn't it."
KongKong Sister originally chose a theme called 'Dream'.
The reason she picked Dream was very simple.
It was because she thought it had the prettiest name.
As you can see, the result turned out like this,
and she started lamenting her fate, saying she'd been the victim of a cover-art scam.
"Shit..."
"Shit..."
"Hang in there..."
I quietly listened to her story.
There was only one thing I could say to KongKong, who was having a serious existential crash while watching the intruders lose themselves in pleasure.
"At least you somehow managed to keep your virginity."
"That is true. No matter how much I'm called an Ero Trap Dungeon Master... hey!"
"No, that was a compliment."
It really was a compliment.
After all, without using the easiest and strongest method,
she had upheld her chastity until now for the sake of her convictions.
In a way, isn't KongKong Sister a heroic sort of person?
No.
Come to think of it.
"Let's say you had a companion tempting you by saying, 'If you use these people as tools, you can easily beat the Demon King!'"
"But those heroes would declare, 'I'm a hero who protects people. I can't use people as tools!'"
She doesn't use her own virginity as a weapon.
That way of putting it makes my head spin like crazy, though.
Honestly, what's the difference?
"Newbie, you really don't know how to hold back with a lady, huh?"
"I was just making a joke because you looked depressed... hng-hng."
A little,
she was the kind of sister whose reactions were so snappy that teasing her was fun.
"Then I'll just! Right now! Just like that!"
KongKong Sister yanked my cheeks hard.
Looks like I have baby-soft skin too.
It stretches more than I expected.
"It hurts..."
"Hah... fine, I'll let it slide just this once."
KongKong Sister's hand was no joke.
As expected of a veteran.
I rubbed my cheeks, now red and swollen.
I should know better than to mess around.
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We're heading toward the core room now.
Night has as many as seven zones.
I thought there might be a bit too few zones,
but the scale was definitely huge.
By feel, it was much larger than Sechaham's Dino World.
The underground passage we saw earlier is Zones 1 through 3,
and if you get out of the underground passage, you see a forest; that's Zone 4.
Looks like the horny beastkin live here.
It was a place where plenty of suspicious-looking beastkin also lived.
We pass through the forest.
And after passing through another suspicious cave and a street of vice,
a huge castle comes into view.
And the tentacles waved at us cheerfully.
"Is there nothing here but tentacles?"
Now that I look closely, there are traps too whose purpose I can't even figure out,
but for some reason, the impact is weak.
It feels way too weak compared to the other zones.
KongKong Sister's lips moved again.
And she muttered something.
"Sister?"
"......because it turns you into one."
I can't hear you very well.
"It's a zone where you temporarily turn into a woman..."
"Ah...."
I chose to keep quiet.
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We arrived at the core room.
KongKong Sister was incredibly proper, despite her truly aggressive body.
"You're really a tragic dungeon master."
"...Honestly, I think so too."
"Is there any point in guarding your chastity?"
Whether you guard it or not.
First, staying alive is what matters.
A dungeon master is, after all, still just a device for stopping intruders.
A means of strengthening the dungeon master, like an anomaly.
If it isn't expensive in itself, that's more efficient.
Thinking like a total T, I suddenly got curious.
"I did invest in related traits too. In that regard, I'm definitely stronger than my minions, but, how should I put it, I instinctively feel repelled by it."
"Huh?"
"It's the same as the feeling you get when saving innocent intruders."
Ah, I get it.
"Sister, you're a hero."
"What on earth are you talking about..."
"I respect the conviction."
Anyway.
I was starting to wonder about the reason.
KongKong, who didn't want to reveal that she was the master of an Ero Trap Dungeon.
What on earth was the reason she called me to this place?
"W-well, our dungeon mainly uses charm and essence absorption, right? But it isn't working very well on one intruder who's hard to handle..."
"Is it Marquis Davirus?"
"What? How did you know?"
It makes sense.
After all,
the potbellied old man among a bunch of lean knights is impossible to miss.
A breeding old man in an Ero Trap Dungeon.
That's tougher than a Blesser, for sure.