Chapter 84
The intruder was Marquis Davirus.
Also known as the Breeding Uncle.
That was the nickname I'd just given him.
According to Kongkong noona,
he supposedly has 50 children and more than 40 wives—a terrifying man.
Fifty is a bit much.
Is this bastard a special phenomenon too?
“When an intruder enters at night, once the wave starts they basically fall into a state called 'Charm.' It's a dream-theme trait even a Blesser can't break, yeah, you can think of it as an ability that makes it harder for intruders to conquer the dungeon.”
You can resist it to some extent with mental fortitude.
But the more time passes, the more minions you face, and the more traps you run into.
it feels like you're being pushed into a state of sexual arousal.
This Charm state keeps progressing,
and intruders naturally let go of their swords.
I'll skip the detailed explanation of the ensuing heh-heh business.
“Charm does work on Marquis Davirus too, but the problem is...”
Marquis Davirus is much slower to succumb to Charm than others.
And the dream-theme minions, um, what was it...
are the kind of vigorous person who can even outmatch them.
Apparently, everyone just ends up turning into a brat who gets put in their place.
So.
if anyone's going to punish him, Kongkong noona has to step in.
“Absolutely not. I'd rather die. I really hate it. I'd rather die.”
Even if she's an ero-trap dungeon master,
that's against the convictions of Kongkong noona, the true Confucian girl of this age.
Unless he's an incredibly handsome guy.
A guy who looks like that is, well, a bit much.
Marquis Davirus had come into her dungeon before, and even then he spewed sexual harassment that was too vile to repeat.
Stuff like, “I'll dote on you,” and “Be my plaything,” and so on.
If I had been the one involved, it would have been absolutely horrible.
“Brrr...”
“Who says that out loud?”
If Kongkong noona wants to beat that breeding uncle without laying a hand on him,
she'll need this newbie's help.
“If it's your special phenomenon, I should be able to handle it easily.”
Well, honestly, it was easier than with Secha-ham.
Neutralizing that breeding uncle was nothing.
“Phew... just for free?”
“For free?”
I felt like teasing her a little.
She was just so fun to tease.
“Secha-ham even gave me a Drake Heart to thank me...”
“Ah...”
Kongkong noona hesitated.
I hadn't expected her to take it that seriously.
“Well, I was joking. I didn't really expect anything from it...”
All at once.
Noona took both of my hands.
Wondering what the heck was going on, I looked ahead.
Her face was as red as a beet.
I even felt like I could hear her heartbeat from far away.
Her gaze was so serious that I swallowed unconsciously.
“As you can see, my dungeon is like this... I, I don't really have anything good... but if you're okay with it, Newbie, would you take even the shabby loot I've taken from intruders so far...?”
Dehet.
“And, um, i-if a lap pillow would be okay... I can do that, too...?”
In a tiny voice, she lowered her head.
Looking at noona speaking timidly, I thought,
Ah, how can a person be so
pure, chaste, innocent, and demure?
If I were human, I would have to protect Kongkong noona's heart, which was no different from a blank white sheet of paper.
Even if her body was that of a pink-haired, busty succubus, and her job was an ero-trap dungeon master.
She was as pure as snow falling on Frostthorn Mountain.
This newbie would gladly become a unicorn this time.
“Marquis Davirus... you are a creature that should not exist.”
“Eh.”
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I folded my arms and thought.
What kind of special phenomenon would suit this dungeon best?
The neck-snapping yandere was definitely the standard choice.
But the problem was that this was a dungeon.
That meant he wouldn't come charging in like a crazy bastard, like the sword master who'd yelled “Jijinga” last time.
I needed a special phenomenon that could blend well into an ero-trap dungeon.
“Hmm.”
Looks like it had to be this one.
【Red Mask (★2)】
【Price: 10000P】
【Tags: Special Phenomenon, Immortal, Initiation, Untrainable】
【…….】
The reason was simple.
I wasn't going to use it in my dungeon anyway.
It's pretty when you put the mask on.
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.
I bought Red Mask.
This should do.
“Then let me know when the intruder gets in.”
“Got it.”
“I need to kidnap a goblin I can actually use for the kickoff, so I'm heading out now. Please keep checking the gallery and contact me right away.”
I left the placement issue to Kongkong noona.
Dreamland and the night's wave cycle are different, so the timing would inevitably have to be adjusted in the middle.
I made sure to tell noona to watch that carefully.
“Mallang, let's go home.”
“Eep.”
And with that, I finished getting ready to return to Dreamland.
Though honestly, the only thing I'd brought was the scroll.
All I really had to do was ride Mallang.
Just as we were about to leave the Night,
I suddenly heard something behind me I couldn't ignore.
“Don't you think it's weird?”
Kongkong noona asked, fidgeting with her fingers.
What was she trying to talk about?
“Don't you think I'm cheap, slutty, dirty, that kind of thing?”
Hmm.
Still on that, huh.
“This is such a weird dungeon, isn't it? The abilities I chose through traits are all related to that kind of thing, so I just wanted you to be honest with me...”
Truth is,
my opinion wasn't much different from before.
The Night is a wonderful dungeon.
And so is Kongkong noona, who has survived this long.
After all, I'm a dungeon master too.
So I understand all too well how hard it is for a veteran.
But.
My words didn't seem to reach noona's heart that much.
What kinds of intruders Kongkong noona had faced,
what sort of time she'd spent alone,
flashed through my mind like a reel of memories.
Heh.
A good answer came to mind.
“Noona, am I scary?”
“Huh?”
“Do I seem terrifying, incomprehensible, suspicious, and gloomy?”
Noona's eyes widened.
Then she moved her lips as if to say something, before shaking her head.
“I'm the same way, and so are other dungeon masters. So what if it's an ero-trap dungeon? So what if it's lewd? We're just doing our best every moment to survive.”
Whether it's a normal dungeon, a ghost-story dungeon, or an ero-trap dungeon, our essence doesn't change.
We're all just dungeon masters.
That much was certain.
“...That's true.”
Kongkong noona giggled.
“Like I've said many times, I really think the Night is a wonderful dungeon. So as a surviving veteran, be proud. You deserve to be respected too, noona.”
“Mm.”
We waved at each other.
Kongkong noona looked much more relieved.
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I returned to Dreamland with Mallang.
I was planning to kidnap another goblin for wave initiation, so I searched the surroundings.
“No way, you...!?”
“Kerruk, kerruk!?”
There was a golden goblin.
And its face was familiar.
It was the one I'd met during that whole Dino World fiasco last time.
A golden goblin was exactly what the name said.
This bastard.
It had all the precious metals I'd given it last time hanging all over it.
If a goblin did hip-hop, it'd look exactly like this.
Come to think of it, wasn't it near Fire Forge when I saw it last time?
Did it move nearby?
This was perfect.
The one who's done hostage-taking before knows the drill.
“You bastard... attention!”
“Ker ak!”
Well, look at this guy?
I like that loud, spirited yell.
“Welcome to Dreamland's daily special phenomenon, recruit.”
“Ker ak!”
The goblin didn't resist this time.
Was it because I'd knocked it out and dragged it along last time, or because it liked the gift I'd given it then?
Well, either way, it didn't matter.
Let's get back quickly!
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I tied the goblin up in front of the entrance.
And kept watch with Mallang.
I browsed the gallery in the core room,
waiting for Kongkong noona's signal.
Cowhead : Newbie, yam...
Cowhead : Seriously, there's no live commentary for this special phenomenon...?
ㄴNewbie : Why are you doing this to me
ㄴNewbie : Kongkong-ham says she doesn't want it
ㄴNewbie : Just bear with it this time...
ㄴCowhead : I'm depressed
ㄴCowhead : I got depressed and ate grass
ㄴAnt Queen : Fuck, Cow Head!!!!!!
ㄴAnt Queen : Stop acting cute!?!?!?#@!$?
ㄴAnt Queen : Who do you think you are?!@#?#@!??!@?
ㄴCowhead : Newbie, that bastard is bullying me ㅠㅠ
ㄴNewbie : Hyung, please think about your own face...
ㄴCowhead : Fuck...
ㄴCowhead : This is species discrimination, fuck
ㄴDIP: Still, it's a little disappointing there isn't a live stream this time...
ㄴDIP: I mean, if it's a phenomenon we've seen before, honestly it doesn't matter
ㄴDIP: I heard you set up something new this time
ㄴThe World Is Cold : Didn't you place that neck-snapping yandere?
ㄴNewbie : ㄴㄴ I set up something else.
ㄴThe World Is Cold : Ah, I'd kinda like to see that too.
ㄴNewbie : I want to see you more, hyung ㅠㅠ
ㄴThe World Is Cold : Ngh...
ㄴThe World Is Cold : (////)
ㄴSquinty-Eyed Character : Haa... look at these damn homo bastards...
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Secha-nim, if you keep flirting with Newbie, I'll kill you, hehe.
ㄴThe World Is Cold : With Newbie, you're such a menhera.
ㄴThe World Is Cold : Why do you act like a serial killer with me, fuck...
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Hehe.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Newbie-yam!!
ㄴNewbie : Yup
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : You really didn't do anything, right?
ㄴNewbie : Of course.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : I'm getting ready to hang myself with a rope.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : You have to tell me honestly.
ㄴNewbie : That's a joke, right?
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Does that sound like a joke?
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Kongkong noona sent a signal.
An intruder had entered.
But.
It was a signal in a rough style completely different from Kongkong noona's stance so far.
I blinked and looked at the hologram window.
─────
Title: Wave Live Report Day 1
By Kongkong
Kongskongs.
Hello, this is Kongkong.
Day 1 of the ero-trap dungeon + special phenomenon wave live report that everyone has been waiting for and looking forward to begins now.
You probably all knew it anyway, but you didn't know the Night's true form, did you?
Today I'll clear up all those questions, yeah.
But my dungeon's pretty damn lewd—how far is this allowed to go?
─────
Dungeon Master Was Disappointed : Huh?
ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : Hahahahaha, what the fuck?
ㄴShout-Shout-Yeah: A live report???
ㄴSealed Conqueror : Is this some insanely fun hidden-camera prank???
ㄴSealed Philosopher : What is this for real?
ㄴOnly One Without Minions: Are you high??
ㄴAnonymous Butcher : Kongkong's live reports are rare.
ㄴSquinty-Eyed Character : What the hell is this, lol?
ㄴTV Head : Did your account get hacked?
ㄴSkeleton Bones : lol what, this is so out of nowhere.
ㄴMagic Hero : ????????????
ㄴKing Slayer : DDDDDDDDD
ㄴNight Raven : I'll look forward to it... bb...
ㄴCowhead : Haa, damn it, I believed in you!!!!
ㄴOrange★ : This time, just post it without worrying about what people think ㅇㅇ
ㄴOrange★ : Next time, read the notice before posting.
ㄴAnt Queen : Newbie-nim
ㄴAnt Queen : Did you catch Kongkong-nim's weakness or something???
ㄴAnt Queen : She really is a scary one;;;
ㄴNewbie : As if
ㄴGolem King : Wait, but why is this person so pretty??
ㄴGolem King : You should've posted a video or some photos ages ago, lol.
ㄴDIP: For real lol
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Did you maybe do something lewd with Newbie...
ㄴKongKong : I was too scared of you to do anything.
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Phew...
ㄴKongKong : But I promised to give a lap pillow after it was over;
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : You????
ㄴKongKong : Hahaha, a promise is a promise;;
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : So you were a sneaky fox, huh???
ㄴKongKong : Hehehe;;
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I never expected noona to muster this much courage.
I was pretty moved.
I immediately let the goblin into Dreamland.
A special phenomenon only moves once Dreamland enters wave mode.
There was one day left until the wave began.
In 24 hours, Red Mask would make its move.
I told noona about that.
ㄴKongKong : Ok ok
ㄴKongKong : Perfect timing
ㄴKongKong : If you place it in Zone 2 and lure the marquis over there, that should work.
ㄴKongKong : Thanks
All that was left now was to comment on noona's posts even more diligently than usual.
Live reports are the most fun content in the Dungeon Gallery.
TRPG was about to rise up soon, but not yet.
Set out some jerky and cold water, sit in a chair, put Mallang on my lap, and the setup was complete!
I'd mostly only ever been the provider so far, so it was about time I played the consumer for once.
Ah, and...
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : I'll die.....
ㄴNewbie : Love, you're the only one for me...
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : I'll die.....
Newbie : When I saw other dungeon masters, I only thought of you...
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Die........
Newbie : What am I supposed to do now if I don't have love...
ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Kyaa!!!
It seemed I'd somehow figured out how to handle a menhera.