Chapter 9
【Dungeon Theme – Phenomenon】
【Protect the dungeon using incomprehensible things.】
Dungeon theme, Phenomenon.
For a Hidden-grade item, the performance was definitely solid.
I looked at the corpse of the drowned hobgoblin through the camera.
Should I even call that a corpse? It was a horrifying end that I couldn’t even describe.
I had been broadcasting it live through the surveillance cameras, and at the end I just turned the screen away. Ugh, it made me feel sick.
"When am I supposed to clean that up again…."
I let out a small sigh.
Before checking my rewards, I looked over the inside of the dungeon through the surveillance cameras.
"The debuff traps are completely wrecked, ugh."
The Phenomenon-themed traps I’d newly installed were still intact, though.
But all the early traps that had been fun to use against the trolls last time were completely broken.
So this is what it feels like when people say the smarter something is, the trickier it gets; I could really feel it now.
From what the gallery folks say, traps don’t work well on intelligent beings like humans.
If the hobgoblins were this troublesome, I really didn’t want to run into anything more intelligent.
It was a shame about the points I’d invested at the beginning, but.
【Living Maze Generator (★2)】
【Price: 25000P】
【Tags: Phenomenon, Immortal, One-time use】
【When it detects an intruder, it generates a maze in the designated area. The size of the maze is determined by the length of the area. The maze recognizes intruders as food. It repeats digestive motions until its hunger is satisfied.】
Honestly, if you asked whether it was that much of a loss, it wasn’t.
Especially since I had a sturdy Phenomenon-themed trap waiting by my side.
The one that had proven itself in this hobgoblin wave.
Just by looking at the tag, you could tell—it even had Immortal.
Immortal means it can’t be destroyed.
According to the old hands, it was a tag you only saw on high-grade items.
Damn.
As expected, Hidden-grade stuff was reliable as hell.
To the past me who chose the Phenomenon theme.
You’ve got talent. Keep on being a dungeon master.
Anyway.
"My precious debuff traps… now go rest peacefully in the afterlife."
The reason I’d made it this far was thanks to those guys, who had now gone to heaven.
I clasped my hands together politely and prayed for their souls.
Even the troll and goblin guests who had brazenly visited Dreamland a few times had been handled brilliantly by the debuff traps each time.
I’d only managed to get the Phenomenon traps just before this wave.
For some reason,
even if I got more rewards than others, the point cost to use them was absurdly high.
And since the first time, there hadn’t been another case where the difficulty was measured as Very Hard.
I took my eyes off the monitor and stood up from the chair.
It was about time I cleaned up the dungeon.
Sadly,
the dungeon doesn’t clean up the trash left behind by intruders on its own.
With no minions, I had to clean up by myself.
Corpses, shit, ugh, fuck….
"I really want to hire minions…."
I got on Bungbungi (the Phenomenon-exclusive motorcycle cart I bought for 100 points).
The place I’m in now is the core room. Right, the room I said had purple metal embedded in it.
Inside the dungeon, there are surveillance cameras.
The monitors connected to those cameras are in this core room.
I didn’t buy them separately with points.
When I chose the theme, they just appeared in the core room with a ta-da.
Before, I had to manipulate holograms to monitor the inside of the dungeon, but now I could see everything just by looking at the monitors, so it was a lot more convenient.
When I started it up, the motorcycle roared and sped off.
Since the wave hadn’t started yet, there was no maze, but the corridors were still pretty long, so I had to use a ride.
"If I didn’t have Bungbungi, I probably wouldn’t finish cleaning even by the next wave…."
Every time I drive through the dungeon interior, I feel it.
Even for me, who knows the whole structure, it feels so far away that it’s creepy; from a first-time intruder’s perspective, it would be enough to drive them insane.
If I were an intruder, I would absolutely never visit this Dreamland.
I’m not belittling other veterans’ dungeons, but even I thought this place was unpleasant.
Anyway.
Roughly speaking, the inside of the dungeon looks like this.
│Core Room (mana stone & computer room)│
━━━━
│Corridor│
│Corridor│
│Corridor│
│Corridor│
│Corridor│
│Corridor│
│Corridor│
│Maze Generator│
━━━━
│Entrance│
It’s just long; otherwise, it’s surprisingly modest.
When I reached about the middle of the corridor, I found the hobgoblins’ corpses.
"Ah, I fucking hate this…."
I manipulated the hologram.
I should browse the gallery to soothe this miserable feeling.
──────
Title: Did a mythic-grade minion just pop up?
Author: Newbie
My dungeon got dirty today
While stopping the wave, they turned into corpses in an instant
It’s so annoying, disgusting, and stinky that I don’t want to do it
I’m worried I might puke while cleaning
It’s so, so, so hard, you can take my life if you want
Please, someone clean the dungeon for me
*Comments
Cyber Gladiator: ?
Whale Whale Yeah: ?
Magic Hero: ?
TV Head: ?
Squinty-Eyed Character: @QueenAnt
Squinty-Eyed Character: Damn, because of you, Newbie learned some weird shit, you bastard
ㄴQueenAnt : How is that my fault...
Psych Ward Chief Patient: Newbie’s adaptability is top-tier... That’s it... That’s how you do it...
Shitty Love Dog: Our Newbie’s jokes are getting better, haha!!
──────
I held back from taking a picture and posting it because I was worried the head mod would temp-ban me for posting a gross pic.
But.
I Have No Minions: What cleaning?
Sealed Conqueror: dunno
Anonymous Butcher: Aren’t you talking about cleaning intruders?
King Great Evil Spirit: Whoa...
The World Is Cold: Please clean the elves too, for fuck’s sake...
Why are these people reacting like this?
Newbie: Don’t you guys clean your dungeons?
ㄴI Have No Minions : We do, yeah
ㄴNewbie : But why are you reacting like that...
ㄴI Have No Minions : Cleaning isn’t that hard... you just tell a slime to do it and click ㅇㅅㅇ
Huh?
Sealed Philosopher: LOLLLLLLL this bastard seriously cleaned the dungeon with pure manual labor until now??
ㄴMagic Hero : Our super-duper-smart Newbie-nim again... no way...
ㄴShitty Love Dog : Our pure Newbie is cute too... Ugh... hurry and come into big sis’s arms!!
No.
Older bros?
Newbie: Damn, you guys never told me that...
ㄴOrange★ : This finger-princess behavior is making me want to flick you on the forehead, you know...
ㄴDIP : Back in my day, we’d spend points to learn what the functions did...
ㄴ3M Hamster : Eesh... young folks these days just don’t have it... tsk tsk...
But.
Newbie-chan… up until now, I’d been working hard to somehow clean before every wave.
I Have No Minions: You could at least ask...
Shitty Love Dog: W E A B S O L U T E L Y A D O R E N E W B I E
ㄴNewbie : ㅠㅠ...
If somebody asks why I bother cleaning when intruders are just going to show up and make it dirty again anyway,
then I’ll ask back why they bother living if they’re going to die anyway.
Cleanliness was basic to life.
"Honestly, it’s not like I had anything else to do besides gallery browsing…."
Today my world collapsed.
Killing time is killing time, and wasted effort is wasted effort.
So there was actually a way to clean this huge dungeon with just one slime click.
Ugh, suddenly my stomach hurts.
Orange★ : Then how have you been cleaning it until now?
ㄴNewbie : I gathered up the trash (corpses included) and dumped it in the pit outside the dungeon...
ㄴOrange★ : ?
ㄴCow Head : ?
ㄴShitty Love Dog : ?
ㄴI Have No Minions : ?
What, why are they all reacting like this?
ㄴOrange★ : You can go outside the dungeon...? ★★★No replies below this point except Newbie★★★
ㄴNewbie : Yeah...
Didn’t I post it to the gallery?
I’m pretty sure I posted that I cleaned it because I was grossed out by the troll and goblin corpses piling up in the dungeon.
Ah, did I only say that the cleaning was done and keep it brief back then?
ㄴOrange★ : That’s possible?
ㄴNewbie : Yup, yup, yup, yup.
ㄴOrange★ : This Newbie is seriously something else, huh?
ㄴNewbie : Why are you being so scary ㅠㅠ...
ㄴOrange★ : No, sorry sorry... I’m not trying to insult you, it’s just that dungeon masters basically can’t go outside their dungeons, so... I got excited and said it like that.
No way, these veterans.
Were they all hikikomori who couldn’t leave their dungeons?
Looking at the gallery, they seemed to know all kinds of things about this world.
So I naturally thought they could go outside their dungeons like I could.
I stroked my chin.
It’s been a long time since I saw the head mod trying to rein in the users.
So it really did seem true.
For a while, the head mod didn’t post any comments.
After a moment.
ㄴOrange★ : I think of you as one of our own too.
ㄴNewbie : Out of nowhere?
ㄴOrange★ : Hey, listen until the end.
ㄴNewbie : Okay, okay, sorry
ㄴOrange★ : So it’s not that I don’t trust you, but what you just said was so shocking to the existing users, including me... I mean, it feels like you completely broke the established rules.
ㄴOrange★ : Can you prove it?
ㄴOrange★ : And I hope you don’t feel too bad after hearing this.
Ah.
The head mod was more considerate than he looked.
I thought he was a cold-blooded bastard with no heart or tears because he’d hand out temp bans like a knife whenever people like Ant Bro or Patient Bro stirred up trouble.
ㄴNewbie : It’s okay, I get it
ㄴNewbie : I’ll go take a picture of the outside right now and bring it back
ㄴOrange★ : Okay, okay, sorry ★★★Now you can make a fuss★★★
ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient: FUUUUUUCK is this real???
ㄴWhale Whale Yeah: Legendary situation just happened!! Legendary situation just happened!! Legendary situation just happened!!
ㄴQueenAnt : Wow... I knew you were really unusual, but I didn’t know it was this much... ㅇㅇ...
ㄴNight Crow : Hahahahahahahahaha wowowow...
ㄴMagic Hero : N-Newbie-nim, could you reply to me one more time...
ㄴI Have No Minions : Is this real?
ㄴAnonymous Butcher : He’s amazing in so many ways...
ㄴShitty Love Dog : Newbie-yah ㅠㅠ wanna come meet big sis??
...
...
The comments began exploding like a volcano.
The hand that had been about to type naturally moved to scratch my head.
"At this point, even I’m scared."
I closed the hologram window.
And started the motorcycle, heading out of the dungeon.