Chapter 2
1.
“…What am I supposed to do about this?”
I leaned back in my chair and stared blankly at the ceiling. A cigarette rested between my lips as I rocked the filter back and forth with my front teeth.
Of course, I hadn’t lit it. What kind of lunatic smokes inside their own home? Besides, I’d never touched a cigarette in my life.
‘Cigarettes are so expensive. Why would I smoke something like this…?’
On top of that, cigarettes were nothing but harmful. People looked down on smokers, they were terrible for your health, and they were expensive to boot. There was absolutely no reason to smoke them.
And yet, I had a simple reason for doing this. Somehow, the smell calmed me down.
It was supposed to be a revolting smell. But for some reason, it felt familiar. Maybe the original owner of this body had been a heavy smoker. It was a strange sort of comfort.
‘So do I really have to explain all this and force myself to be a VTuber?’
The reason I was sitting here thinking about it with a cigarette in my mouth—even though I hated smoking—was simple. I was wondering whether I should keep streaming as a VTuber like the original owner had.
I didn’t know whether I’d have to keep living in this body from now on, but if I did, was there any reason to keep doing this?
‘The original owner used hacks in a tournament hosted by a big-name streamer. Was that something people could forgive?’
There had been a streamer who got caught using an X-ray texture pack on a Minecraft server hosted by a big-name streamer, and promptly fell from grace.
A few months had passed since then, but he still hadn’t regained his former popularity. He had hundreds of thousands of subscribers, yet his views barely managed to surpass ten thousand.
That was how strict public opinion was in Korea when it came to public figures. People cared about morality just as much as skill.
‘The original owner openly used hacks in a place like that, and got caught? Is there really any coming back from this?’
Of course, things might’ve been different if the owner of this body had been a top VTuber. As long as there wasn’t a bombshell like a boyfriend scandal, it was possible to make a comeback somehow.
‘But that wasn’t the case.’
The channel I’d just checked had only 1,200 followers. The average viewership was just six people.
I couldn’t even begin to understand how the original owner had managed to enter a tournament with so few followers and viewers.
‘If the original owner used hacks, there’s no coming back from this. The game company will ban them soon. How am I supposed to deal with that?’
Of course, if Bullet really hadn’t used hacks—if it had all been skill—then it might’ve been possible to turn public opinion around.
“But that wasn’t the case.”
In the corner of the main monitor, there was a hacking program installed in plain sight. There was no denying it now.
I could reincarnate, sure, but there was no guarantee it would work. And even if it did, I’d have to spend my life worrying about when my past life might be exposed.
Rather than live with that anxiety, it was better to give everything up.
“Let’s give up.”
I didn’t feel all that attached to it.
I felt bad for the people who watched the channel, but this was beyond saving.
Whirrr—
I moved the mouse and shut down the computer.
“Ughhh….”
I got up from the chair and stretched. Then I turned around and surveyed the studio apartment.
“First, I should clean up….”
I sighed deeply and got moving. I couldn’t exactly keep living in a pigsty.
***
“Wow, I actually managed to clean all this up….”
Three 50-liter pay-as-you-throw garbage bags were piled up near the front door. They were stuffed with tissues, wet wipes, snack wrappers, food packaging, plastic water bottles, and canned drinks.
‘I’ve put all the clothes in the washing machine, too. They’re drying now….’
I’d done the dishes and finished cleaning the bathroom. All that was left was to take out the trash. And then…
“I need to find a part-time job….”
When I checked the bank account, there was exactly two million won left. The problem was that the original owner of this body had bought all sorts of equipment on installment plans.
In other words, once I factored in rent, the electricity bill, and credit card payments, I could only survive for about a month on the money I had.
‘But what kind of job should I look for?’
Back when I was a man, if I needed cash in a hurry, I’d do loading work or construction labor.
Even when I was a man, I’d be laid up all day after just a few days of that. Doing it in a woman’s body? I’d wreck myself in no time. Besides, they probably wouldn’t hire me in the first place.
‘Should I look into convenience stores, cafés, or PC cafés?’
I turned my head and looked at the mirror beside me.
“Hmm.”
I thought I’d heard that good-looking part-timers could get paid a little more per hour. With looks like these, I might qualify, right?
‘Maybe I could look into modeling, too.’
I didn’t know anything about that line of work, so I decided to leave it for now. Honestly, I wasn’t confident I’d be good at it, either.
‘I should start with the easier options.’
Having made up my mind, I got up from the bed. I had to take out the trash, after all.
“Heave-ho….”
I struggled to lift the trash bags. Once I finally had them in my arms, I opened the door and went out into the hallway. I was waddling down the corridor when…
“Oh.”
A man smoking in the hallway noticed me and acted like we knew each other. He had a cigarette in his mouth and a piercing. I could see a tattoo on his neck, too. He looked like a thug at first glance.
“What’s that?”
Judging by the way he spoke so casually, he seemed to know the original owner of this body.
‘How should I respond?’
I thought about it for a moment, then opened my mouth.
“Can’t you tell? It’s trash.”
I snapped back at him. Ever since I’d first seen this face in the mirror, I’d somehow felt like this kind of attitude suited it.
“I know that. But why are you carrying it out? You’re the kind who never cleans because you can’t be bothered.”
Fortunately, he didn’t seem confused or suspicious at all.
“What’s it to you?”
“It’s not really my business. Anyway, want a cigarette?”
He shook his pack of cigarettes, the corners of his mouth curling up. Just seeing them made me swallow, but then the smell hit my nose and I frowned.
“…No.”
My urge to smoke disappeared in an instant.
“What’s gotten into you? You used to come running whenever I offered you a cigarette.”
“…I’m quitting.”
“Quitting? When they’re this good?”
“What’s good about them? More importantly, don’t talk to me anymore. Seeing you makes me want to smoke.”
I cut the conversation off there and walked behind him. That was when—
Tap—
“Eek…!”
A thick, rough hand grabbed my shoulder, startling me. My whole body trembled.
“Hey, isn’t that heavy? Want me to help?”
Tap—
I roughly shook my shoulder to get his hand off me.
“…Get lost.”
He and I stared at each other for a while. Then he chuckled and turned his head forward again as he spoke.
“Why are you so prickly today? Well, suit yourself.”
I sighed with relief to myself, then struggled to carry the trash bags again. I dumped them by a utility pole and headed back home.
“……….”
Whenever I passed behind that punk smoking, my body tensed up for no reason. I was worried he might mess with me again.
Fortunately, he didn’t say anything else while I was taking out all the trash.
“Phew….”
I threw away the last trash bag and came up the stairs. The tattooed man was still smoking. I was passing behind him when—
“Hey.”
My body flinched again at his call.
“…What?”
“I’m moving in two days.”
“…So?”
For some reason, my tone softened a little at that.
“Just saying. Seeing you quit smoking and take out the trash, it looks like you’re finally trying to get your life together. Good luck.”
“None of your business….”
I tossed the words out and started walking. When I opened the front door, I found myself glancing back at the punk.
“…You take care, too.”
He looked at me with a smirk, then pulled out a cigarette case and dropped his cigarette inside.
“Yeah. Live well.”
With that, I went back inside. As soon as the door closed, all the strength drained out of me, and I sank to the floor.
“Huaa….”
Only then did the breath I’d been holding escape. My hands and legs were trembling. Why did my shoulders, neck, and jaw hurt so much? My heartbeat pounded fiercely in my ears.
Still sitting on the floor, I stared blankly around the room. The studio apartment was much cleaner than it had been when I first opened my eyes.
It was such a simple, easy thing to do. Why had the original owner of this body kept putting it off?
‘Maybe that wasn’t it….’
I felt nauseous. A sudden chill ran through me, and I shivered all over.
“Ugh….”
With a sigh, I grabbed the drawer beside me and forced myself to my feet. I brushed off my backside and thighs, then slipped off my slippers.
I staggered across the room and threw myself onto the bed. The blanket, sheets, and pillow had all been washed, so they were gone, but the softness alone was enough to calm me down.
‘I don’t think I can work a part-time job….’
I’d realized it when I’d run into that man just now. Doing anything outdoors in this body was too much. I could deal with being physically weak, but there was nothing I could do about the psychological side of things.
‘I wasn’t this weak before….’
I figured it might be because of the original owner’s body.
“Then where am I supposed to make money…?”
I rolled over from my face-down position and stared blankly at the ceiling.
The money I had now would barely last a month. If I just sat around like this, I’d obviously end up starving to death.
‘In the end, I need to find something I can do from home….’
I turned my head and looked toward the desk. The flashy equipment didn’t belong in this shabby studio apartment. It showed just how serious the original owner had been about streaming.
‘Should I try streaming…?’
Streaming itself wasn’t a problem. I wasn’t confident, but I thought I could probably manage somehow. The problem was the hacking allegations hanging over the character Bullet.
‘Unless I can resolve that, streaming is impossible. But is it even possible to resolve it?’
I couldn’t stop sighing.
Why had this person made that choice? Did the original owner really think they wouldn’t get caught? Or had they been that desperate?
My gaze suddenly shifted to the dresser beside the bed. I noticed a bottle of sleeping pills there. It had felt pretty light when I was cleaning earlier. Like the original owner had taken almost all of them.
“Aah, seriously, what am I supposed to do…?”
I had no money. I had mental health issues. The only thing that looked like hope was tap-dancing on the brink of disaster. Wasn’t this difficulty level completely insane?
If only I could get a game system, like the protagonist of a novel. That would at least make things a little better.
“Kraaaagh! Status window—!!!”
That was when I screamed.
Ding—
“Huh?”