Chapter 9
What is life?
I like questions so old they’ve gone rotten and turned yellow.
Anything old or rotten is good, as long as it isn’t food.
It means people have made a lot of use of it.
The meaning of my existence, the reason I need to prove I exist, what life is.
If I think about things like that, a few hours disappear in an instant.
What does that mean?
It makes for an incredibly easy escape from reality.
I sat there with my legs tucked inward, then toppled backward as if I’d fallen over.
Thump. My back landed on the mattress—firm and soft all at once.
I let out a deep sigh.
Blowing at a strand of hair that had touched my lips.
Ah, I’m fucked.
I’m just fucked.
I picked up the phone I’d tossed aside and opened Google again.
Then I tapped away at the keyboard.
'Obscene acts via communications media'
Some people say
sex crimes are worse than other crimes.
But whether it’s a sex crime or any other crime, I don’t care.
Social suicide stopped meaning anything to me a long time ago.
Obscene acts via communications media are a sex crime. I know they can restrict your employment opportunities to some extent.
So what?
I had no intention of taking a job that required that kind of morality in the first place.
If I get caught for obscene acts via communications media, won’t I be ashamed in front of my parents?
No. I’m an orphan.
If I get caught for obscene acts via communications media, won’t I be unable to show my face in public?
No?
I’m a woman.
When it comes to sexual crimes, this body belongs to a gender that gets endless leniency, both socially and legally.
Not many people would hate my sexual sensibilities just because I got fined for obscene acts via communications media.
They might think I’m a crazy bitch, though.
So it doesn’t matter.
But what really does matter is...
Without deleting the words in the search bar, I added two more.
'Obscene acts via communications media fine'
I took a deep breath.
...And searched.
The top result was from Namuwiki.
---
Obscene Acts Using Communications Media
A person who, for the purpose of arousing or satisfying their own or another person’s sexual desire, causes another person to receive, through a telephone, mail, computer, or other communications medium, words, sounds, writing, images, video, or objects that provoke sexual shame or disgust shall be punished by imprisonment for up to two years or by a fine of up to 20 million won.
---
"...... What the fuck!"
What!?
What do you mean a fine of up to 20 million won for a little sexual harassment? I mean, a few times?
No, instead of looking at the maximum fine, I should look for actual cases.
Even illegal dumping only gets you a fine of up to one million won, after all.
I searched DC Inside for 'obscene acts via communications media stories.'
There are plenty of people with criminal records in this cesspool full of people like me.
---
Just got back after shelling out 2 million won, fuck
A 5 million won fine for obscene acts via communications media? Is that for real? I swear, I’m gonna kill myself
Paid 500,000 won and got it over with
---
I stared blankly at the criminal-record stories from all those losers.
......
Can that be right?
How can cyber sexual harassment—not even something that happened in real life—come with a fine like that?
If that’s how it works, they should make a crime for hurting someone’s feelings, too.
Those Bell players threw thirty minutes of my life in the trash, too.
I’m supposed to hand over my precious money just because I hurt the feelings of some sluts who do whatever they want with their bodies? I wish people would say things that made sense.
...No, more importantly, what did they report me for?
My specialty is toeing the line. Did I ever cross it?
As I wondered, I remembered what happened when I started my period... most recently.
When I was playing Bell and got especially angry.
I’d cussed out Yoo JieunJieunJieunJiyu and that Gesa... Burger or whatever.
...I’d definitely gone harder than usual. I couldn’t control how irritable I’d become.
And when I went off, I’d attacked someone.
I was the one who’d attacked them, and I was the one who got attacked.
I tried to deny reality with that kind of rambling to myself, then
quietly opened my online banking app on my phone.
'32,000 won'
"......"
A fine of up to 20 million won.
'32,000 won'
A fine of up to 20 million won.
"Fuck..."
My mind started to go hazy.
I didn’t care that obscene acts via communications media were a sex crime.
I didn’t care that it could leave me with a criminal record if things went badly.
But my money...
That amount was dozens of times more than everything I owned.
How was I supposed to pay that?
I was already stressing about how I’d pay the rent due in ten days.
Something had to be wrong with this, didn’t it?
The severity of the crime and the punishment weren’t proportional.
Where had democracy gone?
Since when had South Korea become a country that favored harsh punishment?
I grumbled to myself, thumped my head against the mattress, and wandered around the room.
Then a question suddenly occurred to me.
Who had I been charged as?
As a man?
Or as Moon Ihyeon, now?
If it was the former, maybe I didn’t have to go in?
As soon as that hope came to me, I jumped up and searched for my ID.
I’d shoved it in a corner because I never went out anymore and had no use for it.
When I rummaged around, I found it right away.
Moon Ihyeon
XXXXXX-
4
XXXXXX
......
It had properly changed to Moon Ihyeon.
Moon Ihyeon was a name I’d made up myself.
I stared at the ceiling for a moment.
There weren’t any security cameras, of course.
"...Sigh."
Whatever.
I’d gotten used to supernatural phenomena just by becoming a woman.
So it wasn’t strange for my ID to suddenly change to the name I’d made up.
But something was bothering me.
...What was it?
Something seemed off about my age.
Well, I used to be 21, so I get that the 3 changed to a 4, but...
Why was my age...
Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Why had I gotten younger?
Even if I’d gotten younger...
No.
While I was fretting over the charges and my ID,
it was already past midnight.
...But now that I think about it,
if I’d been charged as a man, they would’ve seized this place.
* *
Early the next morning.
I’d ended up going after all.
I walked all that way to save money, thinking about every possible thing along the way.
Daenam Police Station
As I rounded the corner, a rectangular building with those words on its massive sign came into view.
I wore a black hoodie and black pants. The oversized hoodie looked decent enough, but the pants didn’t fit, so I cinched them up with a little belt.
I crossed the gate in front of the police station. It was just a gate between simple stone pillars, but to me it felt like a path dividing this world from the next.
"F-fuck... Fuck..."
I started resenting that bastard.
Bell, especially in the Grandmaster-Challenger tier, is full of men.
What kind of guy files a complaint because he got sexually harassed a few times?
Can’t I counter-sue him?
For filing a false report or something.
I walked across the parking lot,
took a deep breath,
and opened the door.
Inside, it had a general feel similar to a community service center.
The only difference was that the people walking around were wearing police uniforms.
Maybe because I’d come early in the morning, I didn’t need to take a number and could go straight to the counter.
In a trembling voice, I explained why I was there.
"Um, excuse me."
"Yes? How can I help you?"
A policewoman greeted me with a kind smile.
"I-I was told to report here at eight. It’s about obscene acts via communications media..."
"Ah, yes. Are you here to inquire about filing a complaint for obscene acts via communications media? If so, please fill out this form—"
"Ah... No."
The words that followed refused to come out for a while.
I’d thought the social shame inside me had died ages ago, but here I realized it was still beating strongly, alive and well.
Ah, I want to die. For real.
I thought of that man.
That man I’d grown fond of by now. I wonder what he’s doing these days.
My voice just wouldn’t come, but at last I managed to open my mouth.
"...I... was reported for... obscene acts via communications media..."
"......What?"
* *
I was told to wait in a room, so I went in.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget the bewilderment in the policewoman’s eyes.
I sighed and sat down in a black, leather-upholstered metal chair.
A middle-aged man in a suit came in.
A stereotypical detective with a build that made his waist seem twice as wide as mine.
I started to feel a little scared.
"Hello. You’re Moon Ihyeon, right? I’m Detective Lee Yongseok."
"Yes... Hello..."
At first, he looked at me with the same bewilderment as the policewoman, but soon regained his composure and smoothly led the conversation.
"The ID you use is Chyeo Juk Juk Chyeo, right?"
"Yes..."
Fuck.
"A few days ago, you sent some messages containing sexual insults, correct?"
"Yes......"
Fuck. Fuck...
My head sank lower and lower.
"The messages were... Hmm, let me see."
The detective said that, then picked up a sheet of paper beside him and flipped through it.
Then he started reading my messages aloud.
Oh. Wait a minute.
The detective read every ㅋㅋ as "kieuk-kieuk" and said,
"You guys.
Quit dying already.
I really fucking want to kill you.
Fuck, you make me sick
Two of you matched names like little bitches
Where’s the man in that?
Or are you both c*nts... Ahem. Bitches? Fucking hell, lol
Who’s the top and who’s the bottom? lol Ah, do women not have that?
Think that love of yours will last long?
It’s a contradictory kind of love in the first place, lol. Fucking disgusting, rubbing against each other like that.
......And, ahem. Um..."
Even the detective seemed taken aback by the level of the messages. He cleared his throat and continued reading.
"If you really are a woman, how much?
I’m in the mood for a threesome.
I’m tattooed and blonde. Am I your type?
I’m pretty big down there, too.
...Um. And finally.
Yeah, fuck off, idiot.
I’ve said all I have to say, so I’m leaving.
You and your girlfriend can suck each other’s... Ahem. Go on living while sucking me off."
The detective looked at me, bewildered.
He looked surprised even after reading the messages again.
"...Are these messages, and the ones that follow, all yours, Ms. Moon Ihyeon?"
"......Yes..."
"Um... You know these messages could make the other person feel sexually humiliated, right?"
"Yes..."
"Huh... But this is..."
The detective looked back and forth between the documents in his hand and my lowered face.
...I wanted to die.
But even if I did, there was something I had to ask.
"...What are the odds I’ll be found guilty?"
At that, the detective frowned and looked at the paper before speaking.
"...Well, I can’t really say. That’s not something I’m qualified to tell you..."
He trailed off,
but he couldn’t hide his expression.
The odds were clearly high that the outcome would be bad.
My heart sank.
"W-what... what should I do?"
I don’t have any money.
I’d read that if you couldn’t pay, you had to do labor in a workhouse.
Only now was the reality of being fucked starting to sink in.
"I-I-I don’t have any money. Sob... I’m sorry, so please, just this once..."
"P-please calm down."
"How can I calm down? Hic... I’m going to end up on the street—or in jail..."
You couldn’t use a computer or even a phone in prison.
How was I supposed to get through a day?
I’d heard women’s prisons were even scarier.
I’d heard sexual crimes between women happened openly there.
The reality drawing closer was starting to fill me with fear.
I couldn’t stop crying.
Ah, nothing in my life ever works out.
I became a woman. And now I’ve been reported.
I’d be satisfied just stirring shit up and playing Bell.
"It seems the other party is willing to settle. When they first filed the complaint, they said that if you were willing to settle, I could give you their contact information..."
"Sob, hic. R-really?"
At that ray of light, I lifted my head.
"Yes. Here’s their contact information. And here are some tissues..."
"Th-thank you. Sob."
"I’ll ask them to put things on hold for now, so try talking with the victim. They’re willing to settle..."
"Y-yes. Thank you."
Then he spent several dozen minutes consoling me.
* *
8:13 Please, give me just one chance. I really don’t have any money
8:14 I truly regret it. I’ll never use words that could cause sexual shame again. I’m sorry... ㅠㅠ
8:16 Please reply...
[8:34 Sorry, I just saw this]
8:34 N-no, it’s fine
[8:49 If you apologize in person, I’m willing to settle. What do you think?]
8:49 I can meet you right now. Please show me mercy and agree to a settlement... I don’t have any money
[8:56 Where would be a good place to meet? Are you near Seoul?]
8:56 Yes... I can go anywhere in Seoul
[9:10 You can choose, as long as it’s near Seoul]
9:10 Then would the fountain at Seoji Park be okay...?
[9:16 Yes, that works. It’s right nearby. See you at exactly ten]
The place I chose to meet was a very quiet park.
I was the legal offender, but physically, I was the weaker one now.
I decided to meet at the fountain in the park so that if they tried to do something bad to me in revenge, I could run away or call for help right away.
Several dozen minutes passed, and at exactly ten, I was standing by the fountain.
I could immediately spot the person I’d arranged to meet.
There’d only been one other person around the fountain besides me this whole time.
A woman a little taller than me, wearing an elegant beige dress.
She held an expensive-looking leather handbag in a shade slightly darker than her dress.
Her long, downturned eyes were enough to make me assume she must be a kind person.
...It was a woman?
"Um, excuse me."
I took a quick breath and called to her from a short distance away.
She turned to look, then smiled and said,
"Yes?"
She didn’t seem to know who I was.
Well, I’d said something about being blonde and tattooed. There was no way she could’ve guessed the speaker was a woman...
"S-settlement..."
"Sorry, I can’t hear you very well."
The woman smiled and walked closer to me.
I was taken aback for a moment and stepped backward, then gathered my courage and spoke.
"I-I came because you said you’d settle the obscene acts via communications media case......"
"Huh?"
She stepped back in surprise, then looked me up and down, apparently too bewildered to realize she was being rude.
She muttered, her face full of shock.
"Y-you’re Chyeo Juk Juk Chyeo?"
"Yes..."
"......You were a woman...?"
She put the exact thought I’d had into words.